These posts are about maintaining mental health, not achieving it. If you’re deeply depressed or have other serious things going on, you should talk to a professional.

Everybody’s different, and each approach helps everyone differently. You might appreciate this perspective more:

What have you got to lose?

You know, you come from nothing

You’re going back to nothing

What have you lost? Nothing!

Always look on the bright side of life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M

This post is about maintenance mode. Suicidal ideation is emergency mode, and these steps would not be appropriate. If you or anyone else reading this are having suicidal ideation, please talk to someone qualified. In the US, you can dial 9-8-8.

Note that like the 5 Stages of Grief that you’ve probably head of, this is an oversimplistic model. The reality involves a lot of bouncing between each of these at various times to various degrees. This book explains the process from the perspective of neuroscience and talks about a better model:

The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss

And this book talks about it more from a social perspective:

It’s Ok that You’re Not Ok

Sorry to hear about your loss. Feel free to talk as much or as little about your son here as you’d like. Finding community where I can share grief has helped me, hopefully finding out about this will help you too.

Here’s a poem that comforted me. Maybe you’ll get something out of it:

My little man,

down what centuries of light did you travel to reach us here,

your stay so short-lived;

In the twinkling of an eye you were moving on,

bearing our name and a splinter of the human cross we suffer;

flashed upon us like a beacon,

we wait in darkness for that light to come round,

knowing at heart you shine forever for us

- Hugh O’Donnell