Not for a lack of trying, I assure you. It’s just that no matter how hard I try, my mind won’t accept it.
The thought of life and existence being ultimately meaningless (Something else my mind fights against, despite knowing it’s true) is too much of a blow to my psyche to overcome and look at light-heartedly.
I’m just so desperate to have a purpose and meaning in my life, but at the same time I can’t sincerely believe in any religion or afterlife. I try to “live in the moment” and “be happy and make others happy”, but it just isn’t enough. I need something more.
Edit: Thank you everyone for their responses so far, I do read them all. They give me something to ponder and think about, maybe even leading to a solution.
Knowing that there’s nothing else makes the little time I have even more precious.
Nearly everyone who has ever lived is already dead. You and I, and everyone else here are some of the lucky few to not only exist right now, but to be aware of our own existence and its fleeting nature.
We don’t know when the ride is gonna stop and we’re gonna have to get off, but while you’re here experience everything that you can.
To me, it is very serious business to balance the things I need to do to extend the time I have while making sure that I am enjoying most of my time.
In two hundred years I don’t expect anyone will remember my name, anything I’ve written will be gone, my voice will be in the wind, but maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll leave things slightly better than when I got here.
Lastly, I’ll let you in on the secret that people don’t talk about when it comes to “good deeds” or " doing for others." Generally speaking, it feels good to help other people, it feels good to make things better, it feels good to bring someone else joy when you can. For me at least, it’s a little selfish.