Lately I can’t seem to get my heartbeat below 100, even while taking beta blockers.

I have no officially diagnosed heart or circulation issues, except varicocele (not directly related).

I also don’t have any money to get myself checked out. But even if I did, I wouldn’t. I’ve had passive suicidal ideation for decades. This just feels like my wish slowly coming true.

Idgaf about myself tbh, I just hope I won’t accidentally aggrieve the few people on this planet who give a fuck about me.

Ah well.