So I’m not sure if I can or should continue my relationship with my fiance or try to fix things. We’ve been together for two years now. When we first started dating they said that they were working on finishing their masters degree but they have not done so. They also said they’d be going back to work after they finished their degree. They have just been running through their savings and staying at home. They do most of the chores but the house is often a bit of a mess. Now they’re saying that they want to wait until after kids to go back to work. My family also thinks it is a bad idea to marry them.
What do they say when you raise these concerns with them in a constructive manner?
Cry and make excuses.
Are they receiving therapy? They may have depression, anxiety, ADHD, or something similar going on. These all make it hard to achieve one’s goals even when the intention/desire is there.
They do have ADHD and is medicated. I know it can be an impediment and try to support them. I’m not sure how much longer I can be OK with little to no progress.
Just because something is medicated doesn’t mean it’s cured or not impacting them. There are no magic pills for mental health / disorders.
Very true. Meds help, but one still needs to put in a lot of work. Sounds like they may need therapy/counseling in addition to meds.
Oh I agree. I struggle with depression and anxiety myself. But, I try really hard to keep my shit together, even when I feel terrible. I don’t feel like she’s putting in the same effort.
Don’t compare who has it worse. Everyone goes through it differently. Be supportive, not angry.