• KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    6 months ago

    i feel like this is my default state.

    I still don’t know how i feel about it. Am i a dumbass who can’t communicate? Are others just fucking stupid? Who knows!

    • GardenVarietyAnxiety@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Neither. They expect us to figure out and speak in the flowery language and codes that they use, and get upset when we can’t, when I feel like it would be easier for them to just -listen- to what we’re saying, because it’s usually in black and white.

      • Liz
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        6 months ago

        Even as a neurotypical person, I ain’t got time for that shit. Don’t be using code phrases or softened language around me. If you have something you want to communicate, it’s on you to meet sure your understood. It’s not on me to infer your meaning.

            • GardenVarietyAnxiety@lemmy.world
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              6 months ago

              I’m just really direct, and get told I need to consider how I say things… The only example coming to mind is something I don’t really want to talk about openly on Lemmy. I’ll give a vague represantation though

              (My statements are verbatim, the replies are paraphrased)

              I’ll say “You didn’t do XYZ.” - They say “But I have done X”

              Next time I try “Have you done XYor Z?” - Then I hear “Why are you interrogating me?”

              “What have you done?” - “Why are you being accusatory?”

              Those are all plain and simple black and white questions. I have yet to figure out the code I was supposed to speak.

              Those examples are from the same person, but I get this reaction from most people when I ask simple questions

                • GardenVarietyAnxiety@lemmy.world
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                  6 months ago

                  Thanks for the insight. It’ll be something to keep in mind going forward.

                  The place I experienced this the worst was a job where I was in a leadership position, lol. (I have since come to the conclusion that I’m not the leader type)

      • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        6 months ago

        when I feel like it would be easier for them to just -listen- to what we’re saying, because it’s usually in black and white.

        i find i often just make sure people understand the thing that im talking about, so that it’s hard to misunderstand what im about to talk about. The side effect is that they learn about something that they may not have intended to, but are going to.

    • drathvedro@lemm.ee
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      6 months ago

      Both, I think. The fact that you’re here on lemmy tells me that you probably care about how shit works, which makes you an outlier, and it’s likely others who are stupid relative to you. On the other hand, you’re probably a dumbass who talks with people like peers and doesn’t know how to communicate with stupid people, or how to manage your expectations as stupid people will always misunderstand things no matter how good your communication skills are.