Disclaimer: I am not trolling, I am an autistic person who doesn’t understand so many social nuances. Also I am from New Hampshire (97% white), so I just don’t have any close African-American friends that I am willing to risk asking such a loaded question.
It’s the same way neurotypicals learn the preferences of a neurodivergent person.
Many times we make mistakes. And many times we have to be told flat out or pick up cues.