She regularly uses cannabis vape pods.

I had no idea she would explode on me about this because I had already previously told her I was using cannabis, that I was paying for it, and that it greatly helped me with my social anxiety and depression. It also was greatly aiding me in my weight loss, and I’m currently the healthiest I’ve ever felt in my life. So yesterday I started making my edibles like it was no big deal because I thought the heart to heart I had with her about it patched things up. I legitimately thought she’d be happy for me. Well the moment she smelled it in the oven, she stormed into the kitchen, suddenly she threatened to kick me out, threatened to stop paying for all medical care I’m currently receiving, and when I didn’t give in, she started begging my elderly father to intervene, nearly gave my dad a heart attack the way she reacted to me consuming this plant like it was bloody murder. I had been open about this with him for months and he doesn’t have a problem with it.

I was making edibles with preground weed because it’s so much cheaper to buy, I picked up a couple eighths for $10. Apparently though my mom had never heard of the concept of baking weed in the oven to decarb it, and started screaming at me like I was insane. I’m thinking she thought that maybe smelling it might mean she’s also smoking it, that’s my speculation on why she reacted like this, anyway. I currently don’t use any other drugs on a daily basis not prescribed to me by a doctor. Though seven years ago I had a problem with opiates that I’ve since solved with Buprenorphine maintenance, for context. Once I realized this might be about the smell I turned off the oven and put away the foil pouch of weed, but that wasn’t enough.

She gave my dad an ultimatum to kick me out or she’d be calling the cops. I refused to stop using weed, I told her I’ll avoid using cannabis when she’s home like I had been doing previously, but I would not be sacrificing my mental health at her arbitrary whim. My dad started having a panic attack, got in his car, and drove away. The cops arrived, explained this wasn’t their responsibility, and they left. I am very glad my dogs and I are still alive. I have autism and thought this might be the end of me.

My dad returned a few hours later. It is now the next day and no one has breathed a word of this since my little brother returned from work.

  • ashinadash [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    Sorry that your mother freaked out like this, really shitty behaviour and arguably a danger to everyone in the house. Who the fuck calls the cops anyway?

    meow-hug

    • cosecantphi [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      4 months ago

      Thanks comrade, they really can be the worst.

      She seems to have some kind of stigma for making edibles. I have no idea why. When she initially found out I was making edibles, she said she prefer if I just smoke weed in the backyard at night when no one is home, or if I’d just buy prepared edibles.

      I don’t enjoy smoking very much, and edibles are too expensive to just buy them. I think my initial refusal to follow her exact orders and my following refusal to move out after breaking her ultimatum, plus my dads refusal to help her kick me out made her feel powerless over the situation, because that’s when she called armed men to confront me over this.

    • D61 [any]@hexbear.net
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      4 months ago

      Edibles are for the smelly lazy hippy burnouts, vape pods are for the acceptable members of society. smoking-fish

  • penitentkulak [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    Ugh, what an awful situation, sorry you have to deal with this comrade.

    In case this helps, if you’ve got access to an instant pot/pressure cooker and a mason jar it’s a MUCH less smelly way to decarb weed and make oil. You could also just try the mason jar in the oven to knock down the smell (use tinfoil not the actual lid), but not sure how effective that decarb would be. Even poor efficiency is gonna be cheaper than buying premade edibles though.

    • cosecantphi [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      4 months ago

      Yeah I lied about all of my drug use for a long time as well and got sick of doing it because I know weed is actually good for me, and every time they found out in the past they used my lying as a justification to say I’m just an addict who knows it’s wrong. As if they believe my lying stems from a place of denying reality and not denying them ammo to abuse me with.

      But I consider calling the cops on someone to be a violent assault, so I guess its no longer safe for me to be open with my own mother about anything.

  • Spongebobsquarejuche [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    What a trust destroying experience. Sorry you had to go thru that. Some ppl don’t understand the dire nature of calling the bastards until it’s too late.

    I hope your edibles are good! It’s my favorite way to weed, next to dabs. Whatcha making btw? I make gummies. My mom makes cookies. But she has no way of dosing it so they can be terrifying.

  • YourMom [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    My mom is dumb as fuck but would never call the cops. Sorry about that. Honestly just move out. I know the other person said don’t go no contact but it’s probably best to like give the absolute bare minimum once you’re moved out.

    • cosecantphi [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      4 months ago

      Yeah that’s a long way off unfortunately in terms of money. Like I’m starting from zero here. My dad gave me his word I could live with him as long as he’s alive, so I’m not actually worried about getting kicked out right now, but my mother is seeming unstable and without her income we’re all gonna be homeless in short order, so I need to avoid doing anything that will antagonize her for now

      • YourMom [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        4 months ago

        I feel ya. I’m in limbo rn living at my mom’s while I do summer college. And expensive things keep coming up to stop me from moving out. First I was leaving in June, then July, etc.

        Find a roommate and get out for your mental health. Do you at least have a source of income or savings?

        • cosecantphi [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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          4 months ago

          Haha nope. 0 dollars and no income. I got laid off from my first job a couple months ago, and she has been blaming me for it. I don’t have savings because I gave her half my paycheck in rent for the entire three months I was working. I have been trying like hell to find a new job, and things have been slow because I can’t drive and I’m autistic, and I’m currently questioning my gender to boot. She blames me for this.

          I didn’t have the job long enough to qualify for unemployment, so I’m in limbo here.

          • YourMom [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            4 months ago

            That’s brutal. Hang in there. I will say canvassing jobs seem pretty easy to get at the moment (ok it’s garbage ). That’s what I’d be doing rn but I fucked up my foot. Dems are desperate rn.

            Do you have a degree? If not you could probably go to college and get housing aid this fall.

      • Butt Pirate@reddthat.com
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        4 months ago

        I know I don’t have a lot of context here, but when shit hit the fan your dad literally just fucked right off. If your mom loses her shit and demands he kick you out (again), can you really trust him to backup what he says? It seems like he is unwilling to stand up to your mom.

        Again, I’m no one and have no context, but food for thought.

        • cosecantphi [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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          4 months ago

          I’m not going to lie, my mom has threatened to kick me out all my life, since young childhood she’s always tried to modify my behavior through threats of calling the police or sending me to military school despite the fact I’ve never been violent in my entire life. I didn’t get diagnosed with autism until later in life, so she didn’t have the context necessary to understand anything about me, and I’m only recently coming to understand that none of this is my fault since having done the necessary introspection to verbalize this and properly advocate for myself.

          If they didn’t get rid of me seven years ago when I got hardcore addicted to poppy pod tea, they aren’t going to get rid of me now. My big fear is that maybe she’ll try to have me committed, but my mental health is the best it’s ever been and I’m sure my dad would not allow it. She didn’t lie to the police, so my assumption is that she really must’ve thought baking weed in the oven was illegal or something, I don’t know. My dad returned with donuts shortly after the police left and apologized to me, so my guess is he may have been afraid for his own safety as well.

  • RyanGosling [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    I’ve experienced some weird trivial meltdowns like this as a kid. I remember how my mom would frequently tell me to open my room door so it can have ventilation. My room was hot as hell, but not really a big deal or I would’ve opened it already.

    One day she just snaps and screams from outside my room while I’m just on my computer. She threaten to personally remove the door and throw it out if I don’t open the door lol. I kept refusing, and I guess her senses came back and realized prying on my life wasn’t worth the potential damage in our relationship and she stopped bugging me. Never apologized though.

    • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
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      4 months ago

      She threaten to personally remove the door and throw it out if I don’t open the door lol.

      My parents actually did that, and left me doorless for months on end. I refused to believe this sort of thing wasn’t normal until years and years later.

    • cosecantphi [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      4 months ago

      My dad’s already there, he’s been retired and in physical decline for the past 7 years. I do a lot of chores around the house because his arthritis is so bad he can hardly walk at times. I’ve told him that as long as he gives me a place to stay I’ll always be there for him, and he’s given me assurance that I can live with him as long as he lives,

      He just isn’t strong enough to confront my mother on her behavior.