I’m going on my first overseas trip with my girlfriend since we started dating. I worked hard all last year to earn and save money for this trip. It will be our first international trip ever, and I want to make it perfect, memorable, and the best trip of our lives.
I’ve read countless articles online to ensure everything is perfect. It felt overwhelming to the point that my head started to hurt. Fortunately, I found an article that provided a detailed guideline, and it seemed like the perfect guide. My girlfriend and I have been following it, and it has been very helpful so far.
However, I decided to come to this community to seek additional guidance, advice, and tips from you all, just in case the article missed something important. My girlfriend and I would greatly appreciate any travel tips, advice, and guidance you have, as this is our first trip abroad together.
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Exactly what I wanted to say. All that talk of “perfection” makes me imagine them snapping and going full psycho because a train was cancelled and they need to book a different one.
To OP: just stop trying to plan that much. A general plan is good. Just be aware things will change and that’s ok. As long as you two are having a good time, the rest really doesn’t matter as much as you think it does.
If you want a little psychological trick to make the trip more memorable than it otherwise would be, whatever you think is going to be the most impressive, save it for last. Our memories have a very strong recency bias.
Just want to highlight something you said because it’s something I see people tripping up over a lot in my own life.
As long as you two are having a good time, the rest really doesn’t matter as much as you think it does.
Keep in mind that your goal isn’t “experience grey and dismal weather”, “eat a very large burger”, “get killed by a venomous animal” (depending on which country you visit), but your goal is actually “my gf and I should have fun”. If things don’t go to plan but you still had fun, guess what? Things did actually go to plan!
EDIT: but also, if following your itinerary is stressing you out, then feel free to skip a day and just unwind and relax so you’re energised and ready to enjoy the next day
This is a bit dependant on the people. The real trick is communicating and being on the same page, like everything in a relationship.
We both are perfectionists, but after reading the advice from everyone here, we are trying to be more flexible. Your advice is concise, but very helpful. Thank you very much.
Lower your expectations. “This has to be the trip of our lives, we worked so hard, …” is a recipe for disaster. Things will be different from what you have planned. You will be disappointed by some things, others may just not work out at all. If you get hung up on that, you won’t be able to enjoy all those little moments that make a trip memorable.
If you have to leave the beautiful little Café early because that one big thing on your checklist is closing in an hour and tomorrow you have to leave early for the next stop, you won’t be left with any nice memories, only pictures of things that have already been photographed a million times.
My advice: already make plans for the next trip. Yes, you won’t be making it back overseas in a while, but there is just no correllation between how far you travel, how much you spend and how good of a time you have. I’ve traveled a LOT all over the world and some of my best memories were made in places I could reach by car. The biggest disappointment was a long, expensive overseas trip that was “maybe the last big holiday before we get kids”.
Take the pressure out, this is just a holiday of many more that will follow. Don’t plan too many things in advance, don’t make a list of “must sees”. Make sure that if you like a place, you can just stay a few more nights.
I was recently on a three week trip through Italy, from the alps in the north all the way to Sicily in the south. We stayed for a few more nights on a nice little camp in the middle of nowhere, with no major attractions nearby, just because we enjoyed lying in a hammock and reading a book. We skipped Rome instead.
We’re 21 years old. We are naive, as you can tell. I’m glad that I came here and got some really good advice from you and everyone else. You’ve mentioned in your comment that you’ve traveled a lot all over the world, so I want to request something. Can you please check out this article that we are following and tell us whether it has good advice or not?
Re: pictures of things that have already been photographed a million times
You want to remember your experience. And although the place you went is certainly part of it, when you are older you will be more likely to want to see you and your SO’s past selves having a good time, than a picture of the sights some photographer has captured much better than you have.
Feel free to disregard this advice if either of you are photographers, whether professional or amateur, as you would probably reap more enjoyment from taking that picture than the rest of us, and are probably way more likely to be the person capturing the place better than the rest of us can. And if it is a unique moment or you really think nobody else has put this sight on the internet already, your choice!
I needed to see it explained this way for it to really click for me. I think the part about the pictures of the sights alone being easily found online was what clinched it for me. I can go “see” that again easily, the scarce part is the part where I am there. A picture of me and a loved one at the sight might be valuable to us two no matter how amateur my photography skills. A picture of the sight probably will not be.
But it’s also relevant that some people already know this and still derive a lot of pleasure from taking a picture of the place themselves, knowing that a lot of other good pictures also exist. If you are one of those people who know that you really like taking pictures of it yourself, feel free to disregard this advice! It’s useful for quite a few people (I think most people?) but not universally applicable. Exceptions almost always exist.
I am guessing from context you’re an American going to Europe.
The US is big; distances in Europe is more manageable. However, we’ve packed a bunch of stuff into every square kilometre. Just because you can do Paris, Venice, Florence, Rome, and Naples all in a week doesn’t mean you should. I lived a while in Florence, and I always overheard American tourists talking about how they “saw” all these great European cities in just a day before moving on. They didn’t see shit other than the Eiffel tower and the Ponte Vecchio.
Find a place you want to experience, and try to actually experience it. Go to museums. Eat their food. Visit small unknown places. Walk around. Learn about the place.
Europeans don’t generally love Americans. We mostly tolerate them. We kind of like their culture, but our favourite Western movies are Italian.
This is not an attack, but a fair warning. Don’t parade how American you are expecting people to treat you better - the best you can hope for is that they’ll expect you to leave a fat tip. Try to mimic social codes around you. Don’t be the loudest person around - and if the loudest people around you are Americans, they’re either being obnoxious or you’re in a tourist trap.
Don’t ever brag.
Investigate when you can eat and what you can eat when. Lunch and dinner times vary from country to country and sometimes city to city. If you’re hungry between 14 and 18 in France or Italy you’ll be lucky if you can settle with a sandwich. Restaurant closing times vary a lot too - a Pizzeria in Italy will open at 19, in Denmark it will close at 20.
When in Rome and all that. Macdonald’s might do in a pinch, but Europe is a continent of cheese, wine, beer, and regional specialties. Find out what people eat in the city where you are. You probably don’t want to order a paella in Andalucia; only Americans order bolognese in Naples.
Especially in France, don’t expect everyone to speak English. They might not be very comfortable with it, and starting a conversation in English an awful start. Learn a few phrases. In France, always start any interaction with a bonjour or bonsoir. At the very least learn how to ask people if they speak English in their own language. In many countries their response will be “of course I do”, but chances are they’ll still appreciate the effort.
And good luck!! It’s a wonderful continent, especially if you’re interested in art, food, or history.
Edit: Also, if you’re in a touristic city looking very American or talking loudly in American English, you need to keep a tighter watch on your personal belongings than anyone else around you. You’re being targeted by pickpockets.
This is all excellent advice, especially regarding France. Where I live, which is only 20 minutes from Geneva, you’d be lucky to find anyone outside larger towns who can speak English confidentially. And forget about it if you have an accent other than very standard British or American.
Europeans in general appreciate the small things in life much more than Americans. Like everyone has already said, try and relax and take it all in, rather than rush from place to place trying to cram as much as possible into your trip. Have that second glass of wine, or that dessert that looks amazing, or even that afternoon nap after a long lunch. Trust me, you remember those moments just as fondly as the big ones.
Ew do you live in Cluses? 🤢
No, good guess though!
I won’t dox you but I’m jealous of your LeClerc 😂
We’re from Singapore and are going to Japan. I have found lots of helpful nuggets in your tip, so thank you very much.
After decades in hospitality I have concluded that yanks aren’t any louder than the Brits or Italians
But what most American men do is put on an affected deep voice to try to seem more manly or whatever, because that’s what they grew up seeing on TV or they’re a bit insecure.
It means that over the general hubbub in a cafe of whatever, you can always hear the American guys, despite them not actually raising their voices
I think American women might have something similar going on. Some of them use their voice differently from what we’re used to in Europe. But yeah, solid observation.
I think Brits and Americans are also badly perceived because people understand the stupid stuff they’re saying. People speaking more obscure languages might have the benefit of doubt.
You should hear how the Japanese talk on the phone haha
Others have said it, but I’ll stress it some more. Don’t overplan. Whenever I go somewhere I make a list of all the places I wanna go to and I only schedule one place/day. Two at most if they’re small things. But don’t plan a museum in the morning and then a second place/museum in the afternoon, for example. You’ll never make it to the second place. Or you will but you’ll be too tired to enjoy it.
1-2 places/day are enough. Trying to cram too much stuff into a day will ruin your trip, really.
Piggybacking to add that it will make you feel disappointed when you plan for 5 things and don’t get to them all, or don’t end up fully enjoying them because you were rushing from place to place. Plan some things, but give yourself room to want to take a lot of extra time at one place, or to explore stuff nearby.
Pro tip: trips aren’t perfect. It’s life, nothing will be perfect. BUT learn to roll with things and don’t take it super hard of something goes awry. Some of my best memories and stories are from agonizing parts of trips.
Also, don’t plan out all you time there, leave some free time open to list about. You’ll be there with your SO, you intend to spend quality time with them, it’s great to have open time to go do something that catches either of your attentions rather than dismiss it due to “vacation appointments” like a tourist spot you planned.
Take pictures or memorabilia of whatever suits you, I have pictures of cool mirrors in hotels, or a wonky bathtub. Again don’t dwell too much on making it perfect, the perfect spot, the perfect picture etc. I have a hilarious picture of an SO with a guy running across the shot, I got him in multiple frames. Still some of my favorites from the trip.
Grab some local currency before you arrive so it’s on hand, know what ATMs can allow you to pull money from for free (Bank of america has a bunch of partners all over Europe) and Don’t let the TSA disappear it from your bag.
I really love that pro-tip that you have mentioned. I was too naive to make it perfect, but your tip has changed my perspective on this. Thank you very much for this pro tip.
Absolutely! Glad I could help, enjoy your time together!
Also keep in mind that what is perfect for one person is not perfect for another, and we change from day to day. Some days we have energy to do a bunch of stuff, other days we just want to take it easy.
I think the most important part of successful travelling with a partner is to be considerate of each others: Pay attention to what the other person wants, perhaps especially if they need a little break. This does not align well with planning everything in detail. You have to be able to improvise, and to take into account each others needs throughout the travels. :)
Where you going? Where you coming from?
For general non-specific advice, be flexible, have a plan, have a backup plan have a backup backup plan. It’s inevitable something’s going to go wrong, don’t let that bring your mood down, treat every event as its own adventure. Meet changes with joy, and you’ll have more fun overall.
Where you going? Where you coming from?
Something something Cotton-eye Joe
We’re from Singapore and are going to Japan. Thank you very much for your advice.
Do fewer things better. Don’t try to cram a million things into a day. Set a “if we do X and Y today then we will be satisfied “ goal to keep perspective. It is easy to get overwhelmed by all the things you could do, so try and be satisfied with what you did do.
So true. Have several options and alternatives ready in case one falls through.
Others have already said to let go about everything being perfect, because there will be things outside of your control that you cannot account for, so I won’t harp on about that.
Instead, I recommend a little pre-trip prep at home to make the end of your trip a dream as well. Take some time to clean the house/apartment, do the dishes and laundry, make the bed.
There is nothing like coming home after a long trip, but coming home to a mess or chores after a (hopefully) amazing time is a terrible way to cap off your vacation, so do yourselves a favor and spend a couple hours on making home perfect before you leave.
OMG! The article that I am following has mentioned these tips that you have mentioned. Are you the one who wrote this article?
Wish I could claim credit, but in the immortal words of Shaggy, “It wasn’t me.”
This is just something my mom drilled into us when I was younger, and I still do it to this day
If you are going to a non-english speaking country, do not expect anybody to speak english. Learn some basic phrases on the local language.
If you need any medical assistance, do not hessitate and go to a hospital. Even better if you have some travel insurance.
Do not propose. Thank me later.
do not expect anybody to speak english
Can I add: also don’t expect that your body language and gestures are going to be the same. Had to learn this the hard way
Tourists in Bulgaria, for example, always get caught out by this. They shake their head for yes and nod for no.
How did you learn this lesson? Was it Bulgaria like the other commenter said?
No it was Japan. (I’m from Germany.)
I was 17 and it was before smartphones and I somehow imagined people in Tokyo and Kyoto would know English but they didn’t. And then I tried to explain what I wanted or where I wanted to go with gestures and they tried to explain back with gestures but it was a catastrophe. None of us understood each other.
I am so sorry because at some point a cook in a soba restaurant kept asking me “Soba?” and I didn’t know what soba was and it was day 10 out of 14 and I was at my nerve’s end so I yelled back in German “I don’t know what you want I don’t know what your soba is just give me that soup that I am pointing at!”
It’s been 15 years and this still keeps me up at night 😭 I’'m so sorry soba guy. Yelling at you legit is in the top 5 things I would do differently if I could relive my life.
(I was also still processing my first break up and it was hot af and my boobs had grown humongous which earned me a lot of stares abroad and all of this added to me feeling lost and frustrated.)
A friend of mine told me about how each person has a bowl into which go all the things that upset them. Some people have small bowls, others have large bowls. When the bowl is full and more things go wrong for that person, the bowl tips.
Your bowl tipped that day.
Corollary: do not assume anybody doesnt speak English.
Specifically, expect no-one to speak English when you need help but everyone to understand English when you’re complaining about something to do with the country you’re in.
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Buy good walking shoes, not just basic sneakers. That pair of chucks or vans may look cool, but they are terrible for standing and walking for long periods. Your feet will thank you later.
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Download offline maps so you can find your way if you lose data/reception.
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If your travel is focused on going around and not staying put at your accommodation (i.e. resort), don’t bother with getting super expensive hotels. What’s important is that it’s clean and safe. You can use the money saved for when you’re actually going around.
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Save scans of your passports and other important documents on your phone or somewhere online, in case it gets lost or stolen.
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Bring a pen. You’ll need to fill out forms as you enter and exit ports. It’s a hassle having to borrow a pen from other travelers.
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Bring a small pouch bag for you phone, wallet, keys, and passport. That way you can securely carry it with you wherever you go without dragging around your luggage. Edit: Here’s a prime example of why a small bag you can wear on your body is helpful. Happened just a few days ago: https://youtu.be/xEUtmS61Obw
If possible pay to have international service in that country with internet data, I did it when I visited Japan last year and the extra 30 bucks were worth it for the couple weeks I spent there. I had Hotspot available to me as well and I used it to ensure my traveling companions also had access to data. I actually looked into getting a mobile Hotspot rented but just paying for international was a better deal for me.
Plus one for the offline maps. You never know if you’re going by an area with poor reception.
If it’s a country where you don’t speak the language check out the translating apps. Google does a great job and I also used DeepL to great effect.
Not just the shoes, but socks as well. Double layer like Wrightsocks complete the blister proofing.
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Be more concerned about enjoying your girlfriend than enjoying the place.
Can you elaborate, please?
Think about ways to enjoy doing things with her, either things she specifically enjoys that you can share in her joy or things that you two do together apart from crowds, like meals and spending time together.
The important thing about the trip is not to see more places or take more pics, it’s to spend time with her, it is better to leave without visiting that town that is surely not that good at the end, and spend an afternoon just chatting with her in a nice place.I think that makes better memories than being stressed all day because of a tight schedule.
This probably isn’t helpful, but I like guided tours where a tour guide tells you about the castles and churches while everyone dutifully takes pictures to prove they were there. The guide/agency arranges the busses/boats and hotels so all you have to do is follow along with the program. The downside is that it always costs too much. The upside is that you spend less time waiting in lines because the planners will have all that worked out with the various sites. Some of those trips are almost exclusively senior citizens, but some have wider age ranges. Either way, you get to meet a set of fellow travelers who may become permanent online friends.
Honestly, expect shit to go wrong. Sounds like you’ve gotten all the important shit done. You’ve got a plan, you’ve been working towards it for a while and seems like your partner is into it as well.
We had a similar trip a few years back, first time overseas for some of us. Lots of planning and preparation went into it. Then our trip planner fucked up one of our bookings in Paris. Meaning we almost missed out on doing some tour that ended on the Eiffel Tower. A couple of times trains were missed/delayed.
The only times the trip strayed away from being the fantastic trip it was is because people let small (and sometime not so small, to be fair) disappointments or missed expectations turn into high stress/anxiety events. You’re going overseas, shit may go wrong; be ready for it and be cool with it (while also making sure you have travel insurance). Also take time away to do shit yourselves that the other may not want to do and always have set meeting times and locations to check in if you do.
you’re leaving out a lot of relevant info-- where are you going? do they speak english, or do one of you speak the destination’s language? will you have a guide? do you have your international cell phone plan squared away?
as others have said, if you think or expect everything to be perfect, you’re in for a disappointing trip. it won’t be “perfect” because nothing ever is. relax and try to enjoy it for the experience
We’re from Singapore and are going to Japan.
I think my wife and I have this down pretty well, so here’s our guidelines:
- Figure out some structure. We usually plan one “thing” per day. Whether that’s catching a train between cities, a particular museum, or a guided tour. This helps with pacing when you are there because you don’t have to think too much day to day, but you won’t feel like you wasted a whole day.
- Figure out food options. I usually make a Google Maps saved list of dozens of different kinds of restaurants in every city. The goal here isn’t a plan, but simply to have good options no matter where in the city you end up. You will have less than one dinner per day of travel after you consider traveling days, so don’t waste it on some tourist trap that you happen to be nearby when the time comes. I’ll usually make a dinner reservation for every other night to make sure we get some incredible meals.
- Naps. It’s vacation, just plan on taking a nap everyday. Our first trip was together was to southern Spain and we’ve just decided that siestas are for us. This also helps with jet lag, staying up late to do local stuff, and having something that you won’t feel bad about canceling if something comes up.
- Self-Guided tours on the first day. If you are Americans traveling to Europe, I’d recommend the Rick Steve’s app and then splitting a pair of AirPods together as you walk around. He does the whole look here, walk here, turn left tour thing, but it’s self paced. We try to do this the first day we’re in a city so we get an idea what the major areas are. Self paced is nice because he’ll say something like “this is a great coffee shop” and we can just pause it and grab coffee if we want. Split the AirPods so you can really hear your surroundings and the tour is something you share.
- Any plans you make are just so you know your options. If you plan on taking a train between cities, look at when the next train is in case you have to miss it. Same with dinner reservations or museums. If it doesn’t feel fun or convenient, you’ll want to know what your alternatives are so it’s never “something or we read in the hotel all day”. Think about “it’s raining, so we’ll go to a museum instead”. Rick Steve also does museum tours.
Aww, this is so sweet that you and your wife have compiled this list for me and my girlfriend.
