It feels like such a weight off of my back to have a real, solid report, from a medical professional, telling me that I have ADHD. I had a standard neurodivergent burnout experience, where I was good in primary school but in secondary school as a teenager, found that I was not achieving my potential. I always felt like I should have been doing better than I was. But it was so hard for me to bring my attention to things I didn’t care about. Grades and attendance started slipping and I made sloppy mistakes.

Things only got worse once I moved out for college. Now I had no one to remind to empty bins and clean my room, to provide a consistent schedule like my parents had. I was procrastinating on assignments, even ones I wanted to do, until the last possible second - I remember turning in an assignment literally less than 10 seconds before the deadline. Sitting down and writing an essay was a Herculean task in my head, and instead of addressing it, I would avoid it. I would lie on my bed or go to the gym or talk with my friends, because it physically felt like I couldn’t start a new task. And the more important they were, the less I wanted to do them. I told myself that I was just bad at being an adult, I lacked discipline and was facing the consequences of my laziness. But I was never able to change anything about it.

Now I know, for sure, why I’m like this, and how to change. I also know that I’m just lazy, my brain just kinda sucks and is not built for the kind of work that I have to do. I know that I can get treatment and that there are other people like me. Its such a relief.

  • SpanishSpaceAgency [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    Literal same experience as me, except I was diagnosed even later.

    I am so happy for you, the relief is immense. I hope therapy/meds/or whatever you try going forward works out for you heart-sickle

  • I had a similar experience except it all went south when I started uni. For the first time ever, I was in charge of my own schedule and I had no idea how to motivate myself to do, well, anything. I also told myself I was just bad at being an adult and lacked discipline and wasn’t able to change anything about it either, even with 3 calendars/planners. Finally got diagnosed with ADHD this year and it’s nice to know it’s not just me being a lazy piece of shit (although I do have my lazy moments), it’s my brain that’s just different.

    Hope your treatment goes well for you meow-hug

  • fanbois [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    Congratulations! meow-hug

    It is genuinely amazing how entirely different people in different places of the world can have the exact same experience. I could have written that post almost word for word. Got my diagnosis last year (in my 30s) and it is exactly what you wrote: relief above all else. It ties my life story together. An invisible line steering towards chaos, that I have followed all my life.

    Get some meds asap. They can be truly life-changing for us.