Edit: also this forum isn’t the worst place to start. User ReadFanon has written great posts and comments about ADHD and AuDHD, which I found very helpful.
Here is a way to rethink the word lazy:
Lazy is if you can enjoy inaction: It is Sunday, I wanted to clean up my basement and work out. The sun is shining and a friend wants to hang out by the lake. I agree and we spent half the day loafing around, drinking beer by the lake. I was lazy and that’s alright because I had a good day. Maybe I feel a mild sense of guilt but so what. I know I will get around to it another day and no real harm was done.
Lazy is not: I want to get up but can’t. I want to clean my room, but don’t know where to start so I don’t. I want to do my work but can’t. I want to do things for myself that I know will be good for me, but yet I still have only moved from bed to couch and back. For days, weeks, months. Years?
If your chronic inaction creates suffering and regret, you are not lazy. Your brain fails at providing you with a baseline of motivation, often stemming from both a chemical imbalance and long term acquired behavioural patterns.
ADHD is a very typical reason, depression another one. Sometimes one masks the other and autism correlates so strongly with ADHD, that people have coined the term AuDHD.
Please be kind to yourself and if you can, seek help from a psychiatrist or other mental health provider.
Disco Elysium took me three tries over three years to finish. I always knew I liked it, but I had to find the right moment in time for it to grip me. The music, the vibe, the art… But soo much reading.
Same with Dark Souls, same with Outer Wilds. All three are now among my favourite games of all time.
If it’s not for you, it’s perfectly fine. But some pieces of art are good because they are not the instant dopamine delivery method. I played vampire survivors for like 6 hours straight and never touched it again. I’ll always think about Harry and Kim.
And yes, if you have ADHD, give it a try medicated. We always chase the dopamine and that sometimes blinds us to slower paced, more rewarding joy.
Thesis: ANarchism
Antithesis: brat
Synthesis: bratAN
Symptoms of a broken system etc… A bronze medal in the Olympics is well worth it in the eyes of someone who has dedicated his entire life (so far) to achieve this. It is short sighted, ignorant and extremely negligent, but this just mirrors societies attitude to COVID right now. On the other hand we elevate sports competition to matters of nationalistic pride, heroism, even politics and one of the greatest forms of vicarious achievements. An athlete at that level has already very little concern for their own health, likely taking PED of some form and pushing his body beyond it’s limits. I find it difficult to be particularly mad at him. He did as everyone expected him to.
Gwondolier, Conspictor of Fartflames non-stop 35-attack-combo is a little much, but I think after the last three days I’m getting the hang of it.
Congratulations!
It is genuinely amazing how entirely different people in different places of the world can have the exact same experience. I could have written that post almost word for word. Got my diagnosis last year (in my 30s) and it is exactly what you wrote: relief above all else. It ties my life story together. An invisible line steering towards chaos, that I have followed all my life.
Get some meds asap. They can be truly life-changing for us.
2 weeks ago CrowdStrike was just permanently taking up 30% of my CPU and kept my laptop running on maximum fan power. Apparently also due to a faulty update. Holy fuck, what is that company doing. And why is apparently everywhere?
Half my company is shut down. Laptops crash into blue screens after bios post and probably need to be wiped. Gotta love Microsoft. Exceptional customer service.
It’s very unfortunate that alcohol is such an extremely simple molecule that is just intrinsically connected to carbohydrates. It just happens. Monkeys get drunk of fermenting fruits lying around. Boil potatoes, let them stand around until it smells funky and you’re already half the way to vodka. Even if you eliminated all remembrance of alcohol, some dude would drink a bottle of grape juice that was a little too long in the sun and enjoy the feeling it gives him.
Addiction often stems from the circumstances in your life. It comes from desperation, suffering, needing to forget or to feel something, the need to distract, to numb or the desire to fit in. It comes from poverty, isolation and the lack of a future, for which it would be worth being sober for.
Capitalism enables and enhances all these feelings and makes this drug so extremely available at the same time. It remains the true enemy and is again at the core of our suffering. Alcohol will undoubtedly remain a problem in any society, but in ours it is a scourge.
His head was glowing orange to indicate his weak spot.
Thank you. I remembered watching a video about this topic, but couldn’t remember where. This was it.
“I’m just gonna shoot at the presidential candidate and see what happens” feels really wrong. He missed his head by a few centimetres. How is all of this even possible.
The stock indices have reached new records after every single crash . Because capitalism must grow. Line must go up. Because if line go down, the whole promise of return of investment goes out of the window and the thing collapses. Any money you put in the market as a whole (ETFs), will be worth more in the future than it is now. But it has to be money that you don’t need to rely on in the next 15-20 years, so it’s exclusively for people who are rich already.
Everything else, like picking a single stock like those GameStop idiots, is just straight up gambling. Betting on horse racing is equally as productive.
Write that sentence down. Then read it again.
And then grab someone you trust and make them help you find a psychiatrist. It involves lists and calling and waiting and planning and appointments, aka all the things you are probably terrible at. So get help if possible.
Just a general word: ADHD is a dimensional disorder. Meaning, there isn’t a single identifying symptom that differentiates ADHD from say, a more neurotypical person that is a bit disorganised. Everyone forgets shit, everyone is late once in a while and everyone fidgets when they are nervous.
So the question you have to ask yourself (and which will be part of the diagnosis): How often does that happen? Is this majorly impacting the direction your life is going and are you okay with it?
If the answers are “pretty much everyday” and “I would not be where I am, if I didn’t behave like that and I feel like I can’t do anything about it even though I want to”, you have a pretty good indication.
Your wording and descriptions all sound very much like my (inattentive) ADHD to me.
To everyone recommending vitamin c: there is no evidence that it does anything but making your pee slightly more expensive unless you have a deficit, which you don’t, because you’d notice your teeth falling out.
Liquids, rest, ibuprofen and wasting around for a week is all we got. Pseudoephedrine medication if it’s really bad and congested or you need to stand upright for three hours because something can not wait.
Get well soon.
When I was younger I thought being able to drink a lot was a good thing.
Turns out, consuming more of the poison that destroys your guts and liver to get into the desired state of mind is actually bad.
On the other hand, I’m usually the one getting drunk people home safely, so thats nice.
Tying carry weight to your strength stat is just wild. Oh you’re a caster? Good luck carrying that ebony cuirass out of here.
Then again, it is morrowind, so you can just cast Feather on yourself to carry more stuff OR even cast Burden on the enemy and suddenly they are overencumberd. Or drink strength potions. Or just fly. Or make a stupid amount of money in various ways, making loot kind of neglectable.
From the boring point of view of an office worker, who worked in a yellow office with furniture that was older than me…
The renovation of my office was a truly appreciated. Ergonomic tables and chairs, new carpet, actual white walls and getting rid of 80% of the old file cabinets make life so much nicer. I put up a union poster, a painting, two plants and i do not miss the yellow plastic stains one bit.