• OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    arrow-down
    18
    ·
    edit-2
    4 months ago

    I think that your “preference” is based on very sloppy thinking rooted in ambient transphobia. I think you are also confusing a desire for precision of thought with being pedantic.

    I think you’re trying to imply that preferences are neutral facts. I think you should consider how you’d react to someone saying “I am only attracted to white women” or “I am only attracted to 18 y/o women”. Do you think their preference is a neutral fact or an expression of something?

    Oh, also, expression of “preference” is different than having a preference. Ask why you felt the need to say it in this thread.

    • Maple Engineer@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      4 months ago

      I have a preference. Am I not allowded to have a preference that you disagree with? I should just accept what you want and keep my mouth shut?

      • OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        arrow-down
        13
        ·
        edit-2
        4 months ago

        At minimum keep it to yourself. Ask yourself what the utility of saying it is. Because what I read is “I support trans people but I still find them gross personally because if I don’t say that people will think I’m a f*g”

        • Maple Engineer@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          13
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          4 months ago

          At minimum keep it to yourself

          So you’re telling me that I should stay in the closet because you don’t like my chosen lifestyle?

          Do you hear what you’re saying?

          Ask yourself what the utility of saying it is.

          The meme was about people who use “cis” as an insult and the people who find it insulting. My comment completely disarms the fanatics who use “cis” as a slur by embracing the word the way that it was originally intended to be used AND by using it in a way that those fanatics don’t like.

          “I support trans people but I still find them gross personally”

          This is an utterly ridiculous straw man. Literally worthy of ridicule. These are bad arguments and you should be ashamed to have made them.

          You clearly don’t have anything to say that is worth of discussion.

          • OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            arrow-down
            15
            ·
            edit-2
            4 months ago

            This is an utterly ridiculous straw man. Literally worthy of ridicule. These are bad arguments and you should be ashamed to have made them.

            Yeah, let me just page up all the trans and feminist academics writing on stigma theory as it relates to misogyny and transmisogyny and let them know that they are wrong, that cis men are never afraid of being tainted by an association with women or queer people

            Or maybe you’re just wrong and defensive, which is 1000 times worse than just being wrong and learning from being wrong, which is a normal human thing.

            When your online ego isn’t on the line I’d suggest reading Sexed Up by Julie Serano.

              • OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                1
                arrow-down
                10
                ·
                edit-2
                4 months ago

                Well read on transmisogyny? How do you want me to point out to you that you’re incorrect? Like, earnestly, what is the right way to point out to someone that they’re being bigoted when they don’t know they’re being bigoted?

                I know more on this than you

                on a personal level- plenty of men hit on me and then when I speak in my non-passing voice to let them know I’m a lesbian react with disgust. Men who say they’d never be attracted to a trans woman have had no problem aggressively hitting on me

                On an academic level- I’ve read a lot of feminist works on misogyny, and works on how transmisogyny operates.

                You haven’t done enough study on the topic to have an opinion that you should personally stand by.

                Unless you have investigated a problem, you will be deprived of the right to speak on it. Isn’t that too harsh? Not in the least. When you have not probed into a problem, into the present facts and its past history, and know nothing of its essentials, whatever you say about it will undoubtedly be nonsense. Talking nonsense solves no problems, as everyone knows, so why is it unjust to deprive you of the right to speak?

                • Maple Engineer@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  12
                  ·
                  4 months ago

                  I said nothing about forcing my preferences on you but you’re working VERY hard to force your preferences on me.

                  That says a LOT more about you than it does about me.

                  • OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml
                    link
                    fedilink
                    arrow-up
                    2
                    arrow-down
                    11
                    ·
                    edit-2
                    4 months ago

                    What do you mean by my preferences? I’m not into dudes. I am annoyed when people spout bullshit that they don’t understand is bullshit and then get defensive when you tell them they’re wrong, stop playing the victim.

    • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      4 months ago

      I think you make some very good points.

      It’s also important to remember that “perfect” is the enemy of “good”. There will never be a perfect ally, because allies don’t have the same lived experience. But (I think) that allyship is still a good thing.