“I would not consider you a sexual partner, were it not for our pre-existing social relationship” isn’t really something I’d consider a compliment.
That is how I understand what is being said, and my understanding comes largely from the fact that FWB is also denied as a possibility, since that is also a long-term social relationship, but one based primarily on raw sexual attraction rather than social dynamics.
I’ve seen other say it also comes off as saying you’re “settling” for the same reasons.
I see people saying variations of “what they mean is that they couldn’t just be FWB”. That’s not what is being said though, and that meaning is lost in the way it is phrased. That would have been a compliment though.
I see people saying variations of “what they mean is that they couldn’t just be FWB”. That’s not what is being said though
According to the post she did say she wouldn’t be just FWB or Hookups with but marry". Which does arrive you at “You’re hot and I want to boink you, but I couldn’t just boink you because then I’d be lovesick on account of how great you are” which is a sick ass, major compliment, but I really do understand how the 1 - 2 levels of abstraction required to get there might easily be missed in the heat of the moment and smart a bit and how starting your bedroom compliment with “I wouldn’t hook up with you” could use some polish
I feel like I’m missing something because in the body she says “he wasn’t someone I would hook up with or be fwb with, but marry” which to me is very different than “some I wouldn’t just …”
she obviously likes him cause she’s distraught that they’re having relationship issues. she was drunk when she made the comment. you seriously wouldn’t find it endearing to have your drunk partner give you a silly and awkwardly phrased compliment? I think that sounds awesome.
But even if I didn’t, I would ask about it the next day inatead of abruptly leaving. Surely this could have been cleared up with a short conversation.
I gotta be honest I find your response here annoying as it seems to be arguing against a lot of stuff I haven’t said, whilst not engaging with what I said. It also doesn’t answer my question.
she obviously likes him cause she’s distraught that they’re having relationship issues. she was drunk when she made the comment.
I do not see what that has to do with what I wrote. I did not write anything about wether or not she liked him, I am writing about how I interpret what has been said and in this comment you’re responding to I am asking about the specific language used. The premise for the post is that she intended to compliment him and he didn’t take it as a compliment and now she’s distraught. It’s a given that she likes him and that she didn’t intend this, and I have not argued against either. I don’t get why you seem to think that I am.
you seriously wouldn’t find it endearing to have your drunk partner give you a silly and awkwardly phrased compliment?
No I actually hate getting compliments from my partner 🙄
This is again not really related to what I’m writing. The discussion isn’t wether or not people enjoy compliments, but wether or not what was said is actually a compliment.
But even if I didn’t, I would ask about it the next day inatead of abruptly leaving. Surely this could have been cleared up with a short conversation.
Yeah, I agree? Again I’m also not writing about wether or not he was justified in reacting like he did, just how I also do not see it as a compliment.
Especially since they were both drunk at the time. That could very easily increase the breakdown in communication. Whether it be the man misinterpreting or the woman misremembering exactly how it was said. It makes me think of how I sometimes get a bit rambly when I’m drunk and the point can kinda get lost.
“I would not consider you a sexual partner, were it not for our pre-existing social relationship” isn’t really something I’d consider a compliment.
That is how I understand what is being said, and my understanding comes largely from the fact that FWB is also denied as a possibility, since that is also a long-term social relationship, but one based primarily on raw sexual attraction rather than social dynamics.
I’ve seen other say it also comes off as saying you’re “settling” for the same reasons.
I see people saying variations of “what they mean is that they couldn’t just be FWB”. That’s not what is being said though, and that meaning is lost in the way it is phrased. That would have been a compliment though.
According to the post she did say she wouldn’t be just FWB or Hookups with but marry". Which does arrive you at “You’re hot and I want to boink you, but I couldn’t just boink you because then I’d be lovesick on account of how great you are” which is a sick ass, major compliment, but I really do understand how the 1 - 2 levels of abstraction required to get there might easily be missed in the heat of the moment and smart a bit and how starting your bedroom compliment with “I wouldn’t hook up with you” could use some polish
I feel like I’m missing something because in the body she says “he wasn’t someone I would hook up with or be fwb with, but marry” which to me is very different than “some I wouldn’t just …”
she obviously likes him cause she’s distraught that they’re having relationship issues. she was drunk when she made the comment. you seriously wouldn’t find it endearing to have your drunk partner give you a silly and awkwardly phrased compliment? I think that sounds awesome.
But even if I didn’t, I would ask about it the next day inatead of abruptly leaving. Surely this could have been cleared up with a short conversation.
I gotta be honest I find your response here annoying as it seems to be arguing against a lot of stuff I haven’t said, whilst not engaging with what I said. It also doesn’t answer my question.
I do not see what that has to do with what I wrote. I did not write anything about wether or not she liked him, I am writing about how I interpret what has been said and in this comment you’re responding to I am asking about the specific language used. The premise for the post is that she intended to compliment him and he didn’t take it as a compliment and now she’s distraught. It’s a given that she likes him and that she didn’t intend this, and I have not argued against either. I don’t get why you seem to think that I am.
No I actually hate getting compliments from my partner 🙄
This is again not really related to what I’m writing. The discussion isn’t wether or not people enjoy compliments, but wether or not what was said is actually a compliment.
Yeah, I agree? Again I’m also not writing about wether or not he was justified in reacting like he did, just how I also do not see it as a compliment.
Especially since they were both drunk at the time. That could very easily increase the breakdown in communication. Whether it be the man misinterpreting or the woman misremembering exactly how it was said. It makes me think of how I sometimes get a bit rambly when I’m drunk and the point can kinda get lost.