I have an acquaintance that is having their life ended next month due to constant medical suffering and just had this morbid thought. Care Now could have a spinoff business called Death Now.
I have fully expected this to be the top comment. Internet has not disappointed me today
Would you like QUICK AND PAINLESS or SLOW AND HORRIBLE?
Uh, yeah, I’d like to place a collect call :)
You have selected SLOW AND HORRIBLE
…good choice!
Came here for this
Yeah and these were supposed to come in 2008 what a ripoff…
I’m waiting for the app that offers home delivery.
Your Killr has arrived
How about a spin-off called roulette now?
If you’re suicidal but also scared to die, you can go into roulette now.
They’ll put you into the pod and fill it with a gas and you will go to sleep.
Then a random number generator spins up a number.
If your number is called, the chamber fills with nitrogen and you never wake up again.
If not, nothing happens, eventually the sedative wears off and you wake up, having literally put your life into the hands of a random number generator.
Congratulations, you have survived your suicide. If you would like to keep surviving your suicide, here are some people you can talk to.
Imagine encouraging someone to do this, in hopes that a near-death experience would reenergize them and make them look at life more optimistically, but the RNG just offs them first round.
Wouldn’t work, they’d need appointments to keep up with incredible demand and scheduled maintenance for the ol corpse wiggler out back.
Think about the boon that it would create in the organ market.
There wouldn’t be a single person waiting for a kidney or a liver or a heart or a lung or anything in America anywhere within like 4 years.
They had that in Soylent Green, and in Futurama there were suicide booths.
Don’t forget why Logan was Running!
That wasn’t suicide, though. It wasn’t a voluntary decision chosen when you wanted it, but was forced on you at a time allotted by society.
Carousel was no more suicide than the gas chambers at Auschwitz.
They would probably have a difficult time hiring or getting malpractice insurance. Euthanasia is a specialty — like neurology, anesthesia, surgery, etc.
Nah. Just give me $20/hr, and a baseball bat, and a table to strap them down to.
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Oof, yeah, Death By Appointment might be a better name as I couldn’t see them offering on the spot meat suit evacuation! It’s a process to get approval for getting a humane end to one’s medical suffering. They’d likely be too swamped to do it any other way.
Many states have legal medically assisted suicide, and some of those have relaxed restrictions on residency. This means that, with some hoops to jump through, and understanding that it isn’t entirely elective (I don’t think chronic depression will satisfy the constraints), you can travel to (e.g.) Oregon and commit a medically assisted suicide.
My favorite is the Sarco Pod, which seems an elegant, humane solution which is, unfortunately, not yet employed anywhere. To my knowledge, Switzerland - where it was invented - currently has a ban on its usage, and I don’t know that its been exported anywhere yet.
There are a lot of potential situations where I’d like the option of having one last vacation with my wife in a lovely destination, ending with a visit up a Sarco Pod. If I’m diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or other form of dementia; any of several forms of cancer; or some of the more nasty diseases like some types of scleroderma, where the pain receptors in your skin are firing 24/7, forever, and the best treatment available gives you cancer. Assuming that cures haven’t been found, I want to be able to just end it before it gets bad.
I think it was Lindybeige who said,
[if I die], then nothing happens. I’ve experienced nothing; I was there for most of the existence of the universe before I was born, and it was fine.
Rather that than unrelieved suffering and financially draining every resource of my family.
