A shop assistant in Guernsey has been awarded 40 sausage rolls for 40 years of service.
Fifty-six-year-old Kevin Parsons started working at the island’s Alliance supermarket in 1984.
Bosses marked the anniversary by giving him a certificate, a tropical-themed mural for his home and a sausage roll for each of his next 40 shifts.
Mr Parsons, who was described as an “Alliance celebrity” by bosses, said “words can’t express my appreciation” for his gifts.
This sounds bad, but in Britain it is an honor unparalleled to be bestowed upon oneself the sum of multiple sausage rolls. 40 is approx $3.6 million.
Can a yank get a picture of one of these culinary masterpieces for reference?
No.
They’re a carefully guarded national secret with strict controls on their export and depiction. We’d not what the Americans stealing the idea and then calling the “dogs in jackets” of some such.
we’ve had pigs in a blanket for decades, m8. your mi2 has failed you.
That is entirely correct. You Americans are far too clever for us simpleton Brits. Pigs in blankets are exactly the same thing as sausage rolls. There is no need for you to investigate any further at all.
We actually accepted it as part of the technology transfers for Lend-Lease.
Wait, really?!?! That looks amazing!
So sausage rolls are like the bearer bonds of Britain?
They did the math.
??
40 years is almost a lifetime. That’s almost straight from school/college to retirement.
In a better reality: “Besides this huge bonus we have also made a big payment towards your retirement fund to make sure you are set for life.”
Yikes.
“Eat these unhealthy things quickly and die so we can hire someone for less” ~ manager probably.
/ABoringDystopia
It’s like a “I can’t believe you stayed here for 40 years you sucker 😂 here’s some sausages or whatever…” gift
When I started in my job, people got a watch for their 10th jubilee, and even bigger presents for later ones. When I was there for nine years, they dropped the idea of jubilee gifts. Maybe the boss unearths that tradition again - next year, I’m working here for 30 years. And hopefully, the gift will not be something like 30m of cable or something…
Maybe a 30cm ruler
Yes, this is wildly stupid. But also it’s a local independent retailer according to the article so I feel less hostile towards it
My headcanon is his boss kept trying to give him a lovely tropical vacation for retirement and he kept saying “nah, i’d rather sit at home and relax”, hence the tropical themed mural for his home.
My headcanon is, boss won the mural on a tropical vacation, hates it and now gives it to his employee.
This is now official canon.
All expired stock
Like, 40 sausage rolls to last the entire 40 years? Does he get them all at once or is it on an interval?
Edit: He be get them one per shift for next 40 shifts, sounds real kind of them
What does “mural” mean in British English? I feel like getting gifted a mural from my work would be disproportionately cool.
A painted wall. Presumably, someone paints it on his wall, as opposed to them delivering a pre-painted wall.
I hope they’re bringing in a true master of the art from the Shankhill Road.
That’s what I thought 🤔 don’t get me wrong I’m sure this dudes been exploited for 40 years and that’s shitty as fuck but a mural sounds like a rad gift
It’s not a big supermarket chain (they have two stores in Jersey and Guernsey), so likely treat their workers better. As the bosses presumably know all their workers it does mean this is a bit more personal than just some HR drone punching a button because their details flashed up on a screen.
It’s absolutely going to be a mural of a massive sausage roll
It will be like this:
How why where… that’s a painting I didn’t know I needed
It is a riff on “Saturn devouring his son” I think.
I assume when they say tropical they mean a sandy beach with waves lapping on the sand, palm trees coming down to the beaches edge and reclining on the sand is a massive sausage roll.
I would not want a mural in my house. This would literally be the opposite of a gift for me.
I feel like the cost of a tropical themed mural could be better spent on like, a tropical vacation. But I don’t know, I’m not a mural guy.
“Words can’t describe my appreciation for his gifts”
Here’s one for you, Kev - Shit!
