Yeah, no drinking just high on life but goddamn this is shit that I wish I did when I was drunk. I have been a complete fucking menace to the asshole drivers I deal with as a pedestrian this week. I live in a very car dependant area, and very frequently get verbally harassed or almost ran over. Normally I just shrug it off because I just don’t want to care, but now it’s like I have to react. In the first kitchen I ever worked at, there was a game of just throwing shit. It was a competition to see who could throw the most accurate throw. The best one was a line cook threw a fry into my shirt pocket from 30 feet away while I wasn’t even paying attention. So I’ve been training how to throw quickly and accurately like my ability to slack at work depended on it.
Was walking to the convenience store the other day for some pouches and someone called me the f slur. At the exact same time, I found a block of wood that had been littered onto the sidewalk, so I threw it at their back window. Yesterday, an asshole was honking and screaming for someone in front of her to turn on a red while I was trying to cross. So I threw a few fries from the dinner I was bringing home into her window. What does this achieve? Nothing really, but it feels really good to throw things at assholes. Today some asshole in a BMW almost hit me while I was crossing the street, and I seriously regret having nothing good to throw.
gotta walk around with a pocket full of fries so you’re never out of ammo.
I know, fries are the perfect thing to throw at people. I don’t want to actually hurt anybody (for the most part), I just want to piss them off. Also, fries were what I threw in the restaurant, so I’m particularly accurate with them
Keep a pocket full of tator tots like napoleon dynamite, they seem easier to throw