I swear to fucking God. I know none of you will believe me. The story of how and where i found it is equally unbelievable. But please…comrades, nothing might be happening right now but watch the news starting tomorrow to see how the butterfly has been set in motion.
Here’s what’s going to happen:
Events will take place tomorrow that will immediately spell doom for the US in its trade war with China, providing the latter with over a trillion in forex reserves. These funds will accelerate a major component of China’s generational plans by the way of financial aid to one country: Venezuela. This investment will restore all of Venezuela’s refineries and in turn, maximize its natural gas production capacity to make it the world’s greatest exporter of energy. The entirety of South America now has full access to cheap energy, and Venezuela’s soft power begins to dominate every latin American country, causing revolutions all over the continent (yes, even in Arg*ntina).
That’s all I can reveal.
Now, let me get to how I know this and the actual communism button:
I entered the subway station at 4:37 pm today. I saw the station clerk behind his desk gesticulating wildly at me. Confused I asked him ‘what’s up?’. Wide eyed he tells me, ‘come here’. I walk behind his desk to find a small red button labeled ‘touch when man in white spandex and clown shoes approaches at 4:27 pm’.
I look at my phone to check the time. I’m stunned. What is going on? I ask him if this is a joke. He says, ‘I thought it was when I clocked into work today…until you arrived.’
‘…Are you going to press the button?’
He does it.
His computer screen instantly changes from Windows 13 or whatever the fuck to KDE. The terminal opens, and reads out the major events for the upcoming years. It signs off with ‘hasta la victoria, siempre’. Nothing at the station seemed to change. Until the next train arrival was an Amtrak that was on time.
It clicked for me. The red button, the punctuality of the Amtrak….I had just pressed the Communism button.
There is zero doubt given the evidence I mentioned. Just enjoy the ride now.
Ask me if you have any questions. Future events, etc
This is a crucial period in the history of the world and I need you to understand I’m not merely having a haha moment. You need to organize, mobilize like minded comrades in order to bring relief to as many people, as quickly as possible.
I was already doing that
You are NOT taking me seriously damnit.
The entire world order is going to crash and I need you to express this to people, spell out what’s going to happen. We need the trade deficit to widen as much as possible. You need to LISTEN TO ME
I know I know
Ranch dressing
Imagine foretelling future events that would, if the other person were so inclined, make them impossibly wealthy but they insist on making maymays about it
Actually that’s a reference to the Simpsons episode “Skinners Sense of Snow”
Oh yeah, I remember that episode it was so intere-dude, who gives a fuck I JUST HIT THE COMMUNISM BUTTON what the FUCK
The episode features a revolution so it’s actually communist
Feels like you’re being deliberately obtuse to piss me off. I am not talking about a cartoon, I’m talking about real life.