IDK this whole men on this site need advice thing has convinced me that people here really think this isn’t a safe place to ask questions about how to, IDK, be?. So ask them here I guess if you didn’t ask them in the other thread.

I’m drunk and going to sleep now, but I have the day off tomorrow and will sincerely commit to effort-posting responses if anyone has genuine questions they want some in depth advice to.

I will say I’m just a guy who thinks he has enough trips around the sun to have some insight to share but I am not an authority on anything, so anyone else please feel free to chime in

  • Antoine_St_Hexubeary [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    If you were a normal and fit man in a healthy and loving LTR with a secure job and a robust group of interesting friends, but you were also absolutely miserable, how would you approach the problem?

  • SoyViking [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    How do you do it? How do you manage to find the time and energy to stay fit, perform at work and maintain all those relationships?

    • HoChiMaxh [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      2 years ago

      There’s lots to say here, so I’ll just give a few tips.

      Most important individual factor that is relatively easy to adjust is commute time. All time in a car or a crowded bus is really just time subtracted from your life - if you commute for 2 hours a day, that’s like 1/8 of your waking (work day) life and 25% of your life off the clock. It’s a huge god damned time suck. I have prioritized living close to where I work and where my friends live, even if that means we get a lot less living space or pay more that we would otherwise as a result. (Commuting is an insidious hidden cost because it’s basically work time you’re not paid for, so while it costs more sometimes I see it as purchasing back that time). I currently live actually pretty far from my work for me because we got evicted, but I ride my bike there and back (1.5 hours a day) so it doesn’t feel as much like wasted time. That being said we’re talking about moving again to be closer to things.

      As for fitness/friends, the manner in which I stay fit is a very social activity that involves spending a lot of time with people - so my fitness has never been in conflict with my friendships but rather strengthens them and also serves as a vehicle to expand my circle. People here always seem to talk about going to the gym and I don’t get that at all. Shit seems pretty boring to me, and I think bodybuilding is lame. I’d much rather be getting fit while hanging out with my friends.

      Lastly, when I start to put on a bit of weight (usually around this time of year) I start running. I hate running, I think it’s boring, but it is the most time-effective way to burn calories that I’m aware of. This kind of maintenance is boring and I try to reduce how much time I put into it, hence running. I usually run once a week as far as I can - by the time the weather starts getting good I’m usually up to about 20k, then I stop and start doing more fun activities outside.