well, thanks.

  • BaumGeist@lemmy.ml
    7·
    1 month ago

    so, correct me if I’m wrong, but it sounds to me like your financial problems are causing a strain on you both, but you don’t want to cede control over the finances because you’ve tied your sense of self-worth to your status as the breadwinner?

    I’ve been there myself, but that didn’t work out for entirely separate reasons; she’s still my best friend (she’s just straight). Looking back, I feel gross about wanting her to be dependent on me but not being okay with being dependent on her. I get there’s different types of dependence, and emotional is just as important as financial, but still…

    Maybe it would help to reframe this as a tenporary support to get to where you need to be, instead of a new normal. This can be your chance to focus on transition, or mental health, or career aspirations; it doesn’t have to be you saddling her with more responsibilities and becoming a deadweight.

    • Janet@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
      4·
      1 month ago

      but you don’t want to cede control over the finances because you’ve tied your sense of self-worth to your status as the breadwinner?

      that’s not it.

      i wouldnt mind handing that status off, but i do mind that she wont be able to pursue her creative career while out cleaning some shitty offices.

      im sorry it did not work out for you.

      but who said anything about me becoming a deadweight wth? i didnt quit. i still have a job. i should just remove this

    • Janet@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
      6·
      1 month ago

      it has been legalized this year… but we are both bumbling idiots around plants… i had prepared around 50 paprika seeds (i didnt count, but threw away half of them because i had no space to plant them) had them sprouting and all… and now, weeks later, only two survived. but havent grown at all after the initial growth spurt… it was 6 that were growing okish, but idk… either the cat ate them or they drowned… bc of the cat, i had put a netting across the … “plantation” … but that was weeks ago and them fuckers arent growing at all ._.

      we’re waiting for the state to stop being a bumbling idiot about allowing the now legallized cannabis grow-clubs to actually grow cannabis. apparently the clubs need someone with some qualification that has been invented just for this but not yet implemented… maybe next year… (i expect shortly thereafter the law to change again and pot becoming illegal again)

    • Lung@lemmy.world
      6·
      1 month ago

      It’s quite rare for growing pot to be profitable now, prices are way down. Months of labor, space to grow, nutrients, pest controls, lights, drying, etc