Because I don’t, and pretending to feels dishonest. I’ll listen if they want to talk about it, but I’m not going to act interested, and I certainly won’t ask about it on my own. What I’m trying to figure out is whether people actually care, or if they’re just playing a social game that I’m simply not interested in.

I’m probably on the autistic spectrum, which likely explains this to some extent. But that’s not an excuse - being an asshole is perfectly compatible with autism, so before dunking on me, please realise I probably agree with your criticism.

    • Melvin_Ferd@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      That’s what I found. I thought people were faking because I was cynical. Then I met healthy people and realized it’s actually ok to care and I was choosing not to care instead of choosing to care. Do I care all the time, absolutely not. But I’m getting better. I find I enjoy listening to people who are healthy have these conversations while looking at them without the cynicism.

      I started to realize the small talk that a lot of people online complain about is a choice.

    • bashbeerbash@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      where did you find a men’s group? I live in a rural area of the US so most men I meet are proudl ignorant/hateful trump fanatics

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      2 months ago

      Honestly this is how I met my wife.

      I used to get all preachy about how stupid Star Signs were and how dumb it was to watch heroine movies. But then, I was just tired of feeling so angry. I just started listening and approaching them from an understanding perspective.

      My wife told me that was the only person who ever made her feel heard. and I’m also a lot happier!