Ok…forget Jessica Simpson. Let’s Thanos snap her out of existence, and then Men in Black laserpen flashy thing everyone on earth to forget she ever existed. Everybody on the same page then? Ok, cool. Let’s continue.
Ok…
The name Blessica sucks.
Yeah I think the moral of this story is not to knock-up someone who likes the name Blessica.
Or whose last name is Blimpson.
I don’t think you can “knock-up” a guy.
We live in the 21st century. Anything is possible. Also, women have last names, too.
Not with that attitude.
you can certainly try
With a mace everything is possible.
And malice
And my (bl)axe
I mean, you can knock up a trans guy
Damn :(
someone who likes the name Blessica
I picture this as someone who goes to church a lot, reads romance novels, bakes awesome cookies, and says things like “sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays!”
Blive, blaugh, blove
To… blave…
Blilly Blystal
Is that you scoob?
Ruh roh
No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you’d get your ass kicked sayin’ something like that, man.
That’s a crunchy mom?
Yes. But also: Blessica Blimpson.
I think It worked, I have no idea who Jessica Simpson is, is it Homer Simpson’s sister or something?
She just took the name Jessica and fumbled at the beginning.
I think you mean the bleginning
I think the idea is that it begins with “Bless”. It’s not a good idea at all, but pretty sure that’s what it is.
It’s a child not a vanity plate
Ohhhh, no no honey these are straight people, their GOD GIVEN sexuality must be DISPLAYED ALWAYS
What?
Cishet bad. Duh.
I think its a bot that starts beef
Man, I wish I had a beefbot…
Typical blahaj zone toxicity.
Yo straight people are the ones having waaay more kids and they’re still naming plenty of them with non-stupid names. Let’s focus the hate where it belongs: people who try to create personalities for themselves by using their child as a proxy for their unfulfilled hopes and dreams.
I mean, I guess the straights get pretty weird sometimes, but I’m not really seeing the connection.
Parenting is for the good of the kids, not the wants of the parents.
Winner winner chicken dinner.
Projecting your views onto your kid only ends up with them resenting you and you feeling like they can’t meet expectations.
Some things are non-negotiable: my kids aren’t allowed to be disrespectful shit-bagels, but other than that they get to decide who they want to be. I am fortunate enough to get to discover that with them.
I refuse to believe this isn’t a shitpost
Edit: I need to start reading the communities stuff gets posted in
The original community was namenerds and digging through the original poster’s submission history I’m seeing some pretty bad poetry, 90 day fiance content and grieving the death of their parents: all spread out across the past year.
… I don’t think it’s a shit post.
Nah there’s no record of ‘Blimpson’ being a surname, I call bullshit. But your investigate efforts are appreciated.
My BS detector is on yellow alert, but here’s the reddit profile. I feel almost like the original OP may be preemptively floating the idea for some reason.
… No but Bimpson is… https://www.houseofnames.com/bimpson-family-crest
The Bimpson surname is a patronymic, created from the Medieval given name Benne, which comes from the Latin word “benedictus,” which means “blessed.”
Too much of a good thing.
Hold strong to your beliefs.
Blessica Blimpson picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Ahhhhhh…look at all the blonely bleople…
Where DO they all blome from?
Love The Bleatles.
I’m just picturing the album art as a bunch of baby goats in a crosswalk.
In my head it’s really adorable
Not only one of the blest blitish blands of all time, but quite possibly the blest bland blever.
I haven’t laughed so hard at a comment in I bit. I can hear you spitting this at me like.
Sir Oscar Meyer
Wipes the Soylent from his hands as the sandwich was made
NO ONE WAS SAVED
*has bleen
She won’t get made fun of for sounding like Jessica Simpson…no will care, they’ll be too busy making of “Blessica”
And Blimpson. God help any of these.kids if they’re overweight
thanks to my husband
It’s all my husband’s fault that I want to curse my child with a shitty name. How they go through life doesn’t matter to me. They’re my creation, and what I want is all that matters.
What the actual fuck. Just name your kid Paisley if you don’t care about their experience after they leave your body. Whether kids know who Jessica Simpson is or not, you’re giving your kid a stupid name. They will correctly hate you for it.
Paisley Blimpson sounds like a cool name.
Well goddamn, you’re right. I’m amazed.
This is why I will be taking my wife’s name
I found the OP and their post got deleted, but the only comments she responded to were the supportive ones (maybe 1 or 2 out of dozens of “wtf is wrong with you” reactions).
The poster has a history dating back 2 years so I don’t think it’s a troll, or if it is it’s convincing. I just can’t believe anyone would actually want to name their kid fucking Blessica. Absolutely revolting name.
I agree about the name being horrible, but parents are going with more and more, let’s just say ‘unusual’ names, spellings and pronunciations these days. I’ve got a Grandson named Charon. Socially, it hasn’t really been a bonus for him.
I’ve got a Grandson named Charon
Isn’t that something from greek mythology? I swear there’s something like that in greek mythology…
You swear correctly. He is the boatman of the river Styx. He ferries souls to Hades in the afterlife if the individual was buried with the ferry toll. If they didn’t have the ferry toll they’d be fated to wandering the banks of the river Styx for 100 years before they could cross.
I think it’s a cool name. Apologies if this was intended sarcasm and it went over my head.
Imo, Charon’s actually a cool name
Dang that’s a pretty metal name for a kid. I can’t decide if its terrible or brilliant
I think the main issue is that it sounds like Karen
I enjoy the mythos around Charon. If you lived your life to the point where you didn’t have a single person to care for you enough to make a small payment in your name (think 2 pennies), you suffer the fate of merely waiting. He’s like a minimalist renown filter of sorts. It’s like a judge of character, so to speak, based on what others would do for you when you can’t act.
Also the badass hotel concierge in the John Wick movies.
He ran the ferry boat across the Styx to the underworld and had a 3 headed dog…
Cerberus was next in line to the house of Hades, but Charon was not his master. Hades was.
Eh, the kid could have worse, and it seems pretty fitting for the name’s origins.
If you think of children as blessings, and want to change an existing name a little – in this case, Jessica – it makes sense. The first recorded instance of Jessica is from Shakespeare, who could’ve changed the biblical Iesca (Jeska) to Jessica by mixing Jesse into it (or making Jesse into a woman’s name… or other potential origins like the word jess being turned into a name.) And you consider Bless to be a name (though rather unpopular), so it wouldn’t even be particularly odd for the name.
Anyways then you and your entire family and social group die in the same event, like a volcano burying your village.
The kid needs a middle name:
Blessica Blaykelyn Bimpson
For some reason I read this in daffy ducks voice, and it fit perfectly.
No fucking way. This is rage bait. Even if this dogshit name was truly her most cherished wish, there’s no chance you willingly take someone’s name and then go on and complain about your actions.
Fake.
yup, I’ll take “Things that didn’t happen” for $500, Alex.
That kids getting bullied no matter what
Yeah blimpson isnt the most advantageous name…
Why not Blumpkin
Blumpkin Blimpson is an amazing name
Sounds like one of Santa’s elves.
I might actual get mines legally changed.
Damn. Beautiful!
Removed by mod
Wow, what a blursed name.
A perfectly cromulent name.
That poor child will be bullied so hard. Its not like Jessica Simpson evaporated into fkin smoke. Lost to the ashes of time. The internet exists.
Jessica Simpson doesn’t even need to exist. Blessica is a stupid enough name on its own. Added to the fact that their last name has the word “blimp” in it and that kid is looking at a life of being made fun of.
Honestly there’s no way that kid doesn’t get made fun of at least some purely for their last name. Add the first name of blessica and that kid is going to resent the hell out of her parents growing up.
deleted by creator
I think that kid (probably fictitious) would get bullied regardless, Blimpson is an extremely unfortunate last name. To the best of my memory, Jessica Simpson was never that cringe, it’s less of a problem… or it would be if Blessica wasn’t an awful name.
Yeah she was kind of known as not being very smart but otherwise she’s been relatively un-scandalous afaik.
She’s also a pretty untalented actress
Do you mean the blinternet?
Who tf is this Jessica Simpson?
Ask your parents.
Blisa
Maybe the Simpsons will still be on air…
Blarge
Blaggie
Blart
Blomer.
Blanta’s Blittle Blelper
Blandpa
They’ll probably convert The Simpsons to be entirely AI-generated soon so that it can stay on the air forever. The quality will probably go up, too.
