I mean, YDI.

1. Getting heated means you should always expect moderator action. God knows I do, and I get heated all the time.

2. Somehow, ‘butthead’ feels like more of a violation of civility than ‘asshole’ would. Like, it feels like you didn’t type that out in a blind rage, but stopped, said, “I need to say something insulting but I need to dial it back”, and settled on butthead. That’s like, premeditated or something. Incivility in the First Degree. TAKE 'IM AWAY, BOYS

Is this Beehaw? If yes, it is aligned with their moderation policy

I mean, a six day temp ban for being a dick? That’s what mods are supposed to do, keep assholes from assholing more than the bare minimum. And that’s coming from an asshole that has, and probably will again, been banned temp and permanent for being an asshole.

Like, once you start calling names, you’re off topic, and disrupting the community. You don’t need a warning, you don’t need the rules explained, because you didn’t care in the first place. If you had, you would have just blocked whatever asshole you were insulting and moved on.

I get it, sometimes you just gotta slap back. It’s a human thing.

But when you do, you need a cool down time. A week is just about right for most people to chill the fuck out and get over it. Some take less, some take longer, but a week is just about right.

It’s one of those things where if you’re being a dick, you take your lumps and that’s that. You don’t go whining about the moderation.

A mod lets shit slide like that ends up up with entire threads of bullshit to deal with, and all the other users that decided to jump in are now also fucking up the community spreading the drama. So, yeah, you got a temp ban. You should have. If it had been permanent, you’d have something to complain about on a first offense, though imo, it would be justified as well since we’re all supposed to be grown ass adults that shouldn’t need to be told to play nice. But complaining about it would be justified too.

Now, if the other person was also being an asshole and didn’t get a temp ban, that’s bullshit.

Given the community, ydi

It’s Beehaw, this shouldn’t be surprising they’ve been well known for this type of thing for a while. When I first joined Lemmy.world they immediately decided to defederate from Lemmy.world and sh.itjust.works. I never participated in any communities there before and given what I’ve heard about them I probably won’t in the future, just doesn’t seem worth it. They’ve this type of thing isn’t out of character for them, in fact I’ve actually heard them doing it over less.

Some people really like this reactive style of moderation, whatever floats your boat. I understand that moderation is important and I would never argue otherwise (seriously, I don;t want to hear any strawman arguments about this). I do think though they have a tendency to take things too far sometimes, in some cases they end up alienating their own allies or even their own people. The upshot though is that they tend to be a very isolated community and it is easy to find good alternatives for all the spaces on it elsewhere.

Of course if you do want to keep going there that’s fine, but unless you’re willing to walk on egg shells (and still expect to have similar experiences anyway every so often), I wouldn’t personally recommend it, but that’s just my opinion.

and yet my money is on you not learning the lesson.

I think beehaw do well and did well. They state specifically that they want an instance that is welcoming and they will moderate heavily which is one reason why they defederated from .world I’m not sure if they still do but they did at one point because it was too much to moderate.

Getting banned sucks but it’s only 6 days.