EDIT: I am pleased that hexbear liked this so much.
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What the hell do shields have to do with poison, homie? You alright?
Block with a shield, enemy gets poisoned, continue blocking with shield, enemy dies and you’re safe and sound. It’s an efficient and synergistic combination!
a lot of these i’m not really that attached to but water-shield and ice-hammer seem super obvious to me
Death to America
poison no dart
shield??? what?? how would that even work?
Every time you block a hit, the enemy is poisoned.
First, this was exactly what my daughters needed to shake themselves out of a grumpy morning, so thank you for sharing this
Second, here are the Objectively Correct Answers, in order of correctness:
- Wind shield: Blocking and deflecting blows isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? Sending your stupid assailant flying backwards complete with ragdoll physics. Most importantly, you can flip your wind shield over and use it as a hoverboard.
- Thunder bow: Lightning is awesome as long as it’s sufficiently far away from you. Making lightning strike wherever an arrow can reach? Super impressive and solves many potential problems before they become actual, in-your-face problems.
- Earth knuckles: When you punch someone in the face, do you want to zap them? Freeze them? Make them damp? No. You want to punch someone in the face with the power of a falling boulder. You want to hear that “earth cracking” sound effect.
- Fire whip: You’re the person at the party with the devil sticks. You’re the person who holds a pose just a hair too long when entering a room. You were born to wield the fire whip.
- Ice spear: We’re doing crowd control here. We’re freezing our enemies before they can close in on us. We’re surrounding ourselves with statues of things that wish us harm.
- Poison claws: The only unanimous decision in our family. (We have two cats.)
- Nature axe: Creation and destruction. It’s, like, a metaphor, man.
- Darkness dagger: Daggers are all about being sneaky. In and out, quick stabby murder before anyone notices. What’s better than a little extra cover of darkness for this?
- Light sword: Skyward Sword was an underrated game.
- Water hammer: You’ve used everything else, now it’s time to go back through one last time and do a non-lethal run. Hits like a giant wet sponge.
i would only switch to water whip (firefighting) and fire hammer (can be used for smithing)
That’s… much better, actually
You’re welcome 😌
First, this was exactly what my daughters needed to shake themselves out of a grumpy morning, so thank you for sharing this
Shield is not a weapon
Not with that attitude
THE WALL
THE WALL
THE WALL
NO ONE ON EARTH CAN MAKE IT FALL
If you’re in a shield wall you’re bashing dudes with your shield as much or more than your spear.
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Your picks are thoroughly incorrect
Nice try.
light -> bow
i know what you are
Me but with thunder
Not very nature of you OWL
Fine fine, here’s a less shitpost one
Fire claws is a cool one.
I put all of them on hammer
ok so a spear is basically a baby trident so it’s gotta be water
the spear doubles as a magic rod
correct response, the spear is the all-time GOAT weapon
Death to America
certified insect glaive moment
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Nature axe?
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If pickaxe were available I would have given that to Ice
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Good for chopping wood
beastmaster vibes
Axes are Green Knight-coded
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Elvish bow
This is the correct answer
Why are you the only one taking this seriously?
water sword
??? Is this a serious take?
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This is so much neater
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