Uvalde already did this irl

The world is in such an amount of crap that I actually thought it was a real headline for a second

He’s not playing dead he just found out he was in the general vicinity of some fentanyl.

So brave, and such a miracle recovery from a totally complete death zero doctors were able to confirm!

I’m so used to nottheonion being on here, that I had a big wtf until I saw the source.

Just about ate this one, too. 🙃 Because of course he did

Can’t verify on any other sources and the officers name hasn’t been with Scotts Valley PD before.

Looks like a case of fake news imo atm

Here I go again subscribing to both c/theonion and c/nottheonion.

Then goes home to beat his wife after

Might as well hire a possum, cheaper and better at the job