Hey comrades, I hope this doesn’t break the rules but I needed someplace to rant to sane people. I know how well threads like this go over on R*ddit. Due to some hefty psychological abuse during my childhood, I suffer from bad social anxiety. Until very recently I couldn’t even talk to strangers via phone, Discord, or Email.

It took me so long to realize that I needed help and even longer to gather the strength to seek it that I am 25 now and only started getting better slowly. I just feel like it took me too long and now recovering is meaningless. I never went to any parties or clubs because I couldn’t and I also didn’t have romantic connections.

The thought of asking someone out terrifies me. I am completely clueless in dating matters and overcoming this seems like an impossible roadblock. It feels like I am already too old to have no clue about relationships and I will be definitely too old once I get over my fear of approaching someone. I don’t want to be alone forever. I don’t want to become some weird incel creep but I also feel like I already crossed the point of no return. And yet I feel silly for worrying about this. I know a lot of you have far greater problems in life. Me complaining about having social anxiety and being single just shows how good my life is if this is truly my biggest problem but I still can’t shake it.

Sorry that this rant is so uncoherent and leading to nothing I just had to get this out in an environment that is actually supporting and understanding.

Edit: thanks everyone for the kind words. I was shedding some tears while going through your replies. I was that deeply touched. I count myself once again lucky to belong to such a kind and caring community (can’t believe libs call US red red fascists) and I now feel much better about myself. I feared I was alone in my fight, and even though I haven’t met a single one of you in real life, I now know I am not. I will get around to answering everyone of you but it might take me a day or two.

  • Ratto@lemmygrad.ml
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    2 years ago

    I don’t know 😔 I really wish people would just tell me what they disagreed with in my comments.

    I’m obviously not perfect (joke I’m literally the archetype of god) but I try so hard I’d rather know what I fucked up on.

    I want to learn and be better but without context I’m just left to look at this and wonder what I did wrong.

    • panic@lemmygrad.ml
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      2 years ago

      I’m sorry, for some reason I tapped it by accident when I was scrolling through the thread. I just realized when I came back. I didn’t mean to offend you. I have dyskinesia and this happens to me sometimes. I also turn my phone to greyscale for sensory reasons and there was no way to tell I had done it.

      More evidence that ASPDs are sadistic twisted cycle paths. /s

      In the future assume it was me and my tremors, you can even DM me if you think it happened again o7

      Edit: @devs petition to make the voting function readable without color, like a square around the selected arrow

      • Ratto@lemmygrad.ml
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        2 years ago

        There was so many good comments in here, I didn’t want to wade in with another long comment repeating others good points but I know how much some solidarity (regardless of how long or short the comment is) can mean. At least I like that.

        I guess I shouldn’t assume that everyone wants to hear from me even if I comment in solidarity?

          • Ratto@lemmygrad.ml
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            2 years ago

            I appreciate the support, I do take it negatively but that’s my own issue I need to address.

            See now I’m panicking I’m turning someone’s else’s mental health thread into mine lol.

            Awwwh thank you Comrade, I’m a consumate idiot but I try 😌