I need some advice from the internet;
I haven’t been dating for quite a few years now, but I’m finally in a position where I can think about this kind of stuff. I’m a chef that regularly visits my local dispensery after work. Partly because of the cute girl working there with whom I’ve been chatting quite a bit recently. Last week we stood there chatting for over 10 minutes while she left her colleague to help the other customers there. She says her and a friend are coming over to lunch at the place I work at next week. It’s not like she’s been giving me super obvious signs (or I’m just oblivious to them, which I’m not ruling out), but again, she’s super cute.
Is it appropriate for me to ask her out for a drink? I honestly don’t know if I should or not. It does feel kinda weird asking someone out at their place of work and I don’t want to put her in an awkward situation.
It’s not appropriate to ask a woman out when she’s working. Service staff get hit on all day and they’re just trying to work.
You can slip her your number if she shows up at your place of business and leave the ball in her court though. If she doesn’t contact you then there’s your answer.
I was thinking about something similar, but I’m of the opinion that straight up talking to a person is always better than just leaving a number. But yeah, I can totally see why it would be inappropriate hence why I’m asking for advice in how to handle this situation. It’s difficult, but I know I’ll regret it if I don’t ask her out somehow at some point
I’m speaking as a woman who’s been hit on at work. We’re paid to be nice to the customers and too many customers take it as some sort of come-on. It’s uncomfortable to be put in that position and you should be thinking of her comfort at her place of business above your own desires if you’re really into her.
That’s what I’m trying to do here yeah thanks for the advice
Good for you for listening, and good luck.
Just wanted to say I agree with everything you said. As a woman who has worked with the public for 30+ years I have never said yes to someone who asked me out while working.
You will regret it if you don’t take your shot. It’s probably best to do it at your work if she’s planning to come there anyway. That would eliminate the issue where she’s trapped by her job, and let you be more comfortable, as it’s your environment.
However, despite everyone’s aversion to it here, it is perfectly ok to ask a girl out at her place of work. Just read the signs, if she’s pulling away, or turning sidways to you, looking around the whole time, just walk away. But if she maintains eye contact (within reason), is smiling, leans in, or makes any attempt at physical contact, then you’re good to go. It’s possible she’ll still say no but you won’t be doing anything wrong by asking.
Everyone here seems to be suffering from a case of terminally online syndrome.
Nah I’m against it because being hit on at work fucking sucks. I think you’re confusing being terminally online and things women have been saying for years but you only see online.
If a random dude decides to start hitting on a girl out of nowhere, I’d agree. But this sounds like a scenario that has developed over a period of time, which significantly changes the narrative. I met my gf because she hit on me at work, not all people are the same.
Totally agree don’t ask her out at her work. But if she comes to the restaurant why not ask for her number or give her yours.
Here is how to be extra. Tell watier/waitresses what she looks like. If she comes in, bring out the food yourself and introduce yourself, assuming you haven’t already. Then have the waiter/waitress just write down your name and number on the check.
You get a personal interaction so she knows your interested and the ball is all in her court. No mixed signals.
This person seduces.
Elegant and efficient 👍🏻