I didn’t tell anyone what to feel, I described the guy in the comic as an asshole (for acting like a dick) in a silly way as if I were a news reporter. I think he’s a dick.
I don’t have to be a woman to say that it’s a dick move to be invalidating to someone explaining that they struggle with a certain experience. Or to hear them and then immediately make it into a contest. That has nothing to do with being a man or a woman, and everything to do with having basic social skills and empathy.
It seems odd to assume that the joke I posted was speaking for other people purely because I assumed the voice of a character, and then act like I’m somehow doing something wrong on the basis of that assumption
You assumed I meant other people should be mad about something- I didn’t. You assumed I was a man- only in the loosest sense of the word. And then you criticised me for speaking on behalf of others by saying that I’m telling women what to be upset about? To be totally honest that sounds a hellofalot more speaking on other people’s behalf than what I wrote.
I was being silly about the fact that he sounds like a dick. And I don’t agree with the notion that I’m deserving of criticism for your misplaced assumptions :(
Regardless, take care. If I see you around lemmy again I hope our next interaction can be less hostile.
I literally don’t carry condoms in my wallet. You can see in that comment thread that its my quarters for getting a cart at Aldi. I am biologically male, but that doesn’t make me a man. I also sit down to pee and have boobs. My relationship is with gender is more than a little bit complicated. It also does not matter to the argument, men are allowed to criticize people’s behavior towards women, and it’d be dumb to argue they can’t.
And yes, telling what people mean over the internet is hard, which is why I don’t suggest that someone is doing something wrong when I don’t know what they mean, and instead ask, like I asked you.
And to be very clear, assigning my intentions or motives is also a dick thing to do; I did actually mean that he’s an asshole because he’s being dismissive of someone’s frustrations. Its not helped by the fact that he’s being dismissive of a uniquely afab experience and saying he has it worse as a man, but the way he engages with her is shitty entirely independent from the lens of gender. I think that if you hear someone’s frustrations and respond with “wow, my problem is way bigger than yours” you’re an emotionally and interpersonally incompetent jerk.
I literally did not say that women should be offended by this, that is an interpretation on your part, and going around calling people out based on your assumptions of them is a jerk thing to do.
And to reiterate, your callout is much more an example of speaking for others than “wow, that guy lacks any empathy and is being shitty to her”
This entire exchange has been entirely unnecessarily hostile. Have a nice day.
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Advocating for basic empathy is really not a thing that has to be gatekept to one gender 🤷
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Are you referring to me, or the comic? (Earnest question, the internet makes things ambiguous sometimes)
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I didn’t tell anyone what to feel, I described the guy in the comic as an asshole (for acting like a dick) in a silly way as if I were a news reporter. I think he’s a dick.
I don’t have to be a woman to say that it’s a dick move to be invalidating to someone explaining that they struggle with a certain experience. Or to hear them and then immediately make it into a contest. That has nothing to do with being a man or a woman, and everything to do with having basic social skills and empathy.
And I’m “vaguely masculine” at best.
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It seems odd to assume that the joke I posted was speaking for other people purely because I assumed the voice of a character, and then act like I’m somehow doing something wrong on the basis of that assumption
You assumed I meant other people should be mad about something- I didn’t. You assumed I was a man- only in the loosest sense of the word. And then you criticised me for speaking on behalf of others by saying that I’m telling women what to be upset about? To be totally honest that sounds a hellofalot more speaking on other people’s behalf than what I wrote.
I was being silly about the fact that he sounds like a dick. And I don’t agree with the notion that I’m deserving of criticism for your misplaced assumptions :(
Regardless, take care. If I see you around lemmy again I hope our next interaction can be less hostile.
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Only men carry condoms? That’s easily your wildest take in a string of wild gendered unfair stereotypes
Its literally a quarter and I say as much in the thread under the post he’s refrencing 🙃
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I literally don’t carry condoms in my wallet. You can see in that comment thread that its my quarters for getting a cart at Aldi. I am biologically male, but that doesn’t make me a man. I also sit down to pee and have boobs. My relationship is with gender is more than a little bit complicated. It also does not matter to the argument, men are allowed to criticize people’s behavior towards women, and it’d be dumb to argue they can’t.
And yes, telling what people mean over the internet is hard, which is why I don’t suggest that someone is doing something wrong when I don’t know what they mean, and instead ask, like I asked you.
And to be very clear, assigning my intentions or motives is also a dick thing to do; I did actually mean that he’s an asshole because he’s being dismissive of someone’s frustrations. Its not helped by the fact that he’s being dismissive of a uniquely afab experience and saying he has it worse as a man, but the way he engages with her is shitty entirely independent from the lens of gender. I think that if you hear someone’s frustrations and respond with “wow, my problem is way bigger than yours” you’re an emotionally and interpersonally incompetent jerk.
I literally did not say that women should be offended by this, that is an interpretation on your part, and going around calling people out based on your assumptions of them is a jerk thing to do.
And to reiterate, your callout is much more an example of speaking for others than “wow, that guy lacks any empathy and is being shitty to her”
This entire exchange has been entirely unnecessarily hostile. Have a nice day.
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subjectivity is the default. if you assume every statement on the internet is meant to be objective, you’ll go mad.
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