My wife just had her first pregnancy doctor’s appointment and I am feeling under prepared. I am looking for worthwhile and hopefully empirically based books about pregnancy and parenting. I normally have no problems doing my own research and scourging the library to find out what I need but there’s so much it’s overwhelming.
So what books have you all read that are worthwhile? What is worth looking at?
Most parenting books seemed to be summed up as ‘It depends’. There is a frustrating lack of empirically derived books. Best I can offer is talk now about parenting philosophy with spouse - e.g. how much crying is acceptable when 1 yo before you have to go comfort? When kid falls down do you swoop in or let the kid manage? Keep to that philosophy - kids hate flip-flopping on approaches
Great advice. Thank you
I’m late on responding to this post, but we read “Mayo Clinic - Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy.” It focuses on pregnancy for the birthing parent and the partner. It also discusses the 4th trimester (transitioning into parenthood/postpartum). It was nice to know I wasn’t reading total crap on the internet. Ooh and I highly recommend the Baby Center app to complement the book. Congrats!
I heard someone else say they didn’t like that book. I do love trusted sources and the Mayo is great. Why did you like it?
I mostly went with my gut feeling and listened to the doctor, only when specific things came up I tried to google it, but I feel there was nothing special or unexpected.
We have been having babies through sexual reproduction for many miliona of years, it’s in our DNA, basically it’s an instinct. At least as long as long as there are no complications.
That’s true but I would still like to fill my brain with some knowledge for my guts to draw on.
We had a lot of help when my daughter was born, but when she was a little older and we were more on our own, my librarian wife read a bunch of books, and I went with “don’t do with what my parents did.” It seems to have worked out for both of us, but for me more than for her. I feel like leaning in on the idea that we’re 50% genetically identical and trying to see things from that perspective works better than “well, the book says X…”
I love to read many different valuable books so I can get some diverse ideas to come up with. If you can get some suggestions from your librarian wife that’s what I’m looking for
I will talk to her and see what she says.
Thank you. Reading things helps me feel calmer and like I am preparing.
Hey, I haven’t forgotten. She had a super busy day yesterday but she said she’d try to think of a few today.
No rush. One of the best things about Lemmy is how slow it is. We can have worthwhile threads and discussions for weeks
I liked Emily Oster’s cribsheet and expecting better. Simplicity parenting is good too (could read it later on).
+1 for Cribsheet. She’s a statistician, it’s not so much “this is how to do it” as “here’s a few things people try and data about how effective they are.” It’s a great way to give useful information and encourage parents to make their own decisions about how to raise their child. When my wife was pregnant we read it together and it started a lot of good conversations.
Well Emily Oster’s crib sheets is at my library. So I’m adding it to my list
I really liked Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman.
I don’t think it’s necessarily an accurate picture of parenting in France, but I appreciate the ideas she presents:
- mothers (and parents) should keep their lives and outside interests;
- teach your kids to be independent (don’t helicopter, etc);
- teach kids to exist in an adult world;
- socialized and properly funded childcare is necessary.
My wife and I went to a friend’s wedding in France to a French national in his small town. We were surprised and impressed with the small kids at the wedding. There was nothing child specific for them and they had a great time. Also I’m pretty sure they stayed up later celebrating than us. Good suggestion
Heading Home With Your Newborn was probably the only useful one I read.
One interesting thing I noticed was that What to Expect and Mayo Clinic’s Guide and whatever else I read were really verbose whereas whatever book my husband had (targeted towards fathers) were more straightforward and to-the-point.
I considered reading the Mayo Clinics Guide but I will table it. Heading Home With Your Newborn is on my list now
I would highly recommend “Let the baby drive”, a super oversimplified summary could be “Nap when new baby naps”, but there is so much more in there.
Great suggestions. Its not at my library but I will look into it.
I have heard the “Nap when new baby naps” advice before. We will try to do it
Oh and congratulations! It’ll be an adventure, have fun and cherish those moments (even when you’re pulling your hair out lol).
Thank you. We will try to cherish moments and remind ourselves we wanted this
