I agree that it’s not the same. That wasn’t what I was trying to say; I’m sorry if my phrasing was unclear.

The reason I made the comparison is that it’s very clear that using “gay” as an insult is bad (because of the severe discrimination you mentioned), and so I was using it as a more extreme example of an insult that refers to a specific group of people.

Using “incel” as an insult is not as clearly bad (because involuntary celibates haven’t faced the discrimination that homosexuals have), yet it follows a similar paradigm, hence why I made the comparison.