UPDATE: The transphobe Ada has been defending says they misgender all trans women/NBs on Blahaj who are strangers - Blåhaj Lemmy
lemmy.blahaj.zone
Further information on the situation with the transphobia: Abigail has repeatedly misgendered me and defended her choice by saying she chooses to refer to all people of unknown gender as male. > Hey, Abigail here. I just want people to know the reason this person got banned is likely because of a deleted comment not included in that thread. OP called me ~~autistic ~~ mentally unwell for not liking politics. THAT kind of behavior is not acceptable on lemmy.blahaj.zone, so I reported the comment and let Ada handle it. Ada tried in good faith to reason with OP but it was clear they just wanted to fight. So yeah, they got banned. Ada’s a fantastic lady who’s been great at keeping the trolls at bay. > Edit: and the bit about me misgendering them is also wrong. Gender didn’t come into play until after I had left the conversation. English default on the internet is male for strangers. Source: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669 [https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669] WRT the statement that I accused them of autism for not liking politics, further info is available here: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669 [https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669] https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2320815 [https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2320815] https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2321026 [https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2321026]
  • TC_209 [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    20·
    10 months ago

    Given the “etc”, I believe the use of “their” is meant as a plural pronoun, not a gender-neutral singular pronoun. Tastysnack’s last paragraph isn’t a case of misgendering but rather imperfect grammar, something we’ve all been guilty of.

      • TC_209 [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
        11·
        10 months ago

        I thought you were using “their” as plural possessive, but it’s been a long time since I’ve been in an English class, ha. What’s important is that I understand you’re respecting people’s pronouns, regardless of the holes in our knowledge of grammar. :)

        • Tastysnack [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
          16·
          10 months ago

          I thought that was grammatically correct especially since I used she like 3 or 4 words later specifically to refer to abigail and didn’t misgender her once or anyone ever.

          That said I can with a slowly clearing mind post meltdown see that it could be construed as catty. disingenuous or outright erasure especially since I was ranting about her content and that hers would of being a better choice to avoid any misunderstanding.

          In the end even having your he or she pronouns invalidated subtly by a lib using they can hurt when you know they are doing it out of spite and while I’d never do that, my choice of words can be construed as such maybe (if you squint and paint me as the opposite person to what my account behaviour would suggest) and I certainly won’t be making that mistake again.

          Besides I’m shit at English and grammar so maybe I should stick to simple words and grammar anyway 😅

          • GarbageShoot [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
            9·
            10 months ago

            You were correct. Etc makes it plural here, so you should use “their” rather than the singular “her”. If there was an issue, it was the following conjunct [items combined with an “and”] being in reference to “her,” seemingly dropping the etc. Shorter sentences do make things easier, but I can never tell someone to do that since every sentence I write is run-on.