Oh no, my miserable life that’s devoid of any connection and anyone altogether otherwise *at least contains a friend.

What the fuck man, is this a real concern average people have that I’m way too fucking alienated to understand

  • charly4994 [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    27
    ·
    1 year ago

    I view it more as dunking on the particular type of dweeb that starts an obnoxious screed about how women only want to date assholes and that they don’t ever look at the nice guys in their lives and wonder why their lives suck.

    • dinklesplein [any, he/him]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      14
      ·
      1 year ago

      definitely think if you care and talk about the ‘friendzone’ as a concept it raises red flags about how one approaches romance, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with someone feeling unhappy that their romantic feelings were unreciprocated. like with most things when it comes to this subject i think the issue is thinking critically about why you feel a certain way - for a lot of people the sting of rejection comes from feeling entitled to romance which is clearly problematic.

    • keepcarrot [she/her]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      12
      ·
      1 year ago

      I do have a friend who does only date assholes, it’s very sad and she says so. They have done things like break her arm, break into her house after they’d broken up and steal all of her knives etc. It’s actually a repeated pattern in her relationships that strikes me as pathological.

      That said, the incel/“nice guy” vibe is defining asshole as “someone who is more confident than me”.

      • christiansocialist [none/use name]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        11
        ·
        1 year ago

        I do have a friend who does only date assholes, it’s very sad and she says so. They have done things like break her arm, break into her house after they’d broken up and steal all of her knives etc. It’s actually a repeated pattern in her relationships that strikes me as pathological.

        Yeah that’s the thing, you don’t have to give into the incel mindset to notice this kind pattern.

        That said, the incel/“nice guy” vibe is defining asshole as “someone who is more confident than me”.

        Yeah, although I do think that the “asshole” and the “nice guy” are two sides of the same coin (both toxic but in different ways; one more overt and the other covert). Actual confident/good guys often get mistaken as “assholes” simply cuz they have the confidence, like you said.