I like to imagine that during these freezes, he’s actually having out of body experiences wherein he visits Hell, and sees the fiery fate and torments that awaits him when finally slips this mortal coil.
Comunicating with Biden :)
It’s just his handler touching base.
Looking more and more like the thing from Pan’s Labyrinth every day…
I always thought he looked like a half filled balloon
I’m a marine biologist. It’s obvious he’s moulting.
Its his radical final moult, metamorphosing from an aquatic nymph to a winged adultHe has not yet attained his final formlessness.
Is that why he must consume the souls of all the children? For energy for the metamorphosis?
No, that’s silly.
He consumes souls to power the deep machines in the darkness.Ah, I see. And who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?
I’m just a humble marine biologist.
The sea was angry that day, my friends!
That’s exactly what the Weeping Angels (or SCP-173) would want!
i was gonna say, someone should make an EAS scenario video with mitch as patient zero
His entire team of staffers should be convicted on elder abuse.
Plus most of the other stafers on the Hill and White House should be convicted on elder abuse too.
The rest should probably be convicted on other charges
“does anyone else hear a dial tone?”.
the photo just does that
He’s like an old, cold Medusa.
This article is written like an episode of Nightvale.
Removed by mod
For a second I thought The Onion had become an actual news site.
I feel like it is in its own way
It might as well be, reality is doing a better job at it lately.
This is a top tier onion article. Up there with the hyperbolic chamber !
