tl;dr: have a friend who has historically always been mad when his friends got a gf/wife. He acts like he’s 15 years old and saying “bros before hoes” still. He calls me and other friends a yuppie or breeder, and he thinks crosswalks are authoritarian so he has to always be a “rebel” and make it seem like he has the most unique viewpoint in the world. He doesn’t change anything about himself, and he’s stubbornly proud of having “no filter.” This has caused every wife/gf of his friends to not like him. He will never be invited to any kind of social event because he will say stupid shit. Like, nobody has to be a rabid commie all the fucking time. Him and my gf got into a huge fight because he always talks like an asshole, and i live with my gf, so he doesnt come to my house at all because he’ll say some shit. He still brings up this fight when im around him, and it’s like get the fuck over it. I basically don’t share anything about my life that involves my partner now, because he’ll say something fucking stupid about her. He also begins a lot of sentences with “well” or “actually” which is never helpful. He literally can’t admin when he is wrong, even about the simplest shit.

This really all seemed to get worse once I started my current long term relationship, and then it got way worse when my gf got sick of his shitty attitude and how he treats everyone like an asshole. He literally just can’t be chill at all. No leftist(or similar) should be ranting constantly about every single injustice during every single social situation. That is exhausting to be around, and there is a time and place for it, but there has to be an ability to switch that shit off.

Finding and keeping relationships requires changing yourself just a bit, and making compromises, and it’s now become apparent he isn’t capable of that.

related question: have you ever dumped a long time friend? This is all a somewhat recent change, like the past 3-4 years, and it really seems to be because im in a relationship like most of our friend group, so now he’s totally alone. Ive heard him say he’s in therapy but i have to wonder if that’s true, because it clearly isn’t working. I’m annoyed by him but I pity him too because he can’t fucking change for anybody at all.

    • LeylaLove [she/her, love/loves]@hexbear.netEnglish
      24·
      1 year ago

      https://marker.medium.com/the-invention-of-jaywalking-afd48f994c05

      History of Jaywalking. Tldr: roads used to be for public use. Yes, crosswalks and safe places to cross the road good. But the fact is that urban streets used to be places for people, not cars. Jaywalking as a crime only exists to make people hate pedestrians just crossing a street. I live in bumfuck nowhere, where everything is completely car dependant. There are no crosswalks on many intersections, or they can be up to a mile away from where you actually need to cross the road. Why should it be considered a legal requirement to be in a car to be on 90 percent of local property?

        • LeylaLove [she/her, love/loves]@hexbear.netEnglish
          21·
          1 year ago

          No, I am not against cross walks, nor did I ever say that. You’re working with shit I didn’t say. You’re making assumptions about what I’m advocating for with no real base for it. I literally even said crosswalks were good in that paragraph, so this isn’t even in good faith now.

          All I am saying is that crosswalk enforcement in my bumfuck middle of nowhere American existence, I have only ever seen black people getting harassed for crossing the road in the wrong area. Why is it illegal to cross an empty street not on the crosswalk? Why is it considered acceptable that a law like jaywalking widely used to harass minorities to be upheld? How are carefully enforced crosswalks even helping people not get ran over? Are cops saving lives by harassing minorities for crossing the street in the wrong spot?