I don’t mean to unnecessarily gender this discussion. Gender here doesn’t matter. But I’m going to use gendered words as they fit the context. I want everyone’s opinion.
My dad died from bronchial cancer two days before my 12th birthday. I had to learn how to be a ‘man’ from my ill mother.
What I want to know is, if you had to import some wisdom to preteen me, about the fundamentals of life, what would it be?
I’ve barely learned to shave (and prefer a beard anyway). What can you teach me Hexbear?
I’m 32 by the way. I’m just curious.
My manly advice:
Never bottle up your emotions. Men are allowed to express more emotions than just anger, horniness, and happiness. You are allowed to cry on a partner’s shoulder. You are allowed to feel exhausted and overworked and get a pedi because your feet hurt and drink a glass of wine while doing so. It isn’t un-manly and never let anyone tell you otherwise.
Don’t let yourself get too out of shape. Good physical health is good brain health and good brain health is improved mental health. It’s a lot harder to come back from extreme unhealthiness than it is to just maintain a base level of healthiness. If you are letting it get out of hand then you are depressed and possibly have some other issue going on.
Therapy is the best gift you can ever give yourself and I mean this sincerely. You don’t need to wait. You can go to therapy over little things. It’s no big deal. They are professionals equipped to help you acquire tools you can use to tackle a wide array of issues in your life.
Wash your ass. With soap and water. No, letting the soapy water run down your crack isn’t good enough.
Get a hobby. Video games are not a hobby. That’s a past-time. A hobby is something like woodworking or painting. It is a creative pursuit. Hobbies are king. Hobbies let you meet people into the same thing and make more adult friends. Hobbies let you trade the creative things you do with other people who do other creative things.
Learn how to do one romantic thing. Maybe it’s poetry or flower arrangements or learning little romantic classical songs on your guitar. Gay, straight, trans, queer, whatever it doesn’t matter. Learn something that helps you woo a partner and you don’t stop even after you’ve won their heart. This is what keeps the fire burning in a relationship.
Oh, and don’t worry about having your life together. That’s for old people in their retirement. Everyone else is just scrambling to make ends meet and not alienate their friends because they are too busy with everything else. We are all struggling. It’s okay. Whatever you might be going through, you’ll get through it. You’ve gotten through everything else up to this point, after all.