It appears to be the majority of Doctors most Americans can afford…
This is not what I thought they meant when they said universal healthcare.
Child: Mom can we have universal healthcare? Mom: We have universal healthcare at home. The healthcare we have at home:
It’s easy, pick any doctor in your network.
It’s really too bad Kroger discontinued “The Fizzicist”.
That’s a frustratingly good name too.
I don’t normally drink sodas but man do I want to drink that for the name alone.
Excuse me, my esteemed aerial cephalopod, but I don’t see a doctor in front of your name. Those sodas didn’t end up hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt getting their doctorates to be dissed by you.
I’m far too modest to mention my 6 years at Harvard Medical School followed by a 4 year residency at Johns Hopkins and, of course, my 134 published papers in medical journals.
a 4 year residency at Johns Hopkins
I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins… It was me, Johnny Hopkins, and Sloan Kettering… And they were blazin’ that shit up everyday!
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The bar for soda medical school is just so damn low.
Me trying to explain the backstory of Britain’s longest-running sci-fi series
Dr.who now that’s a soda I have yet to try
Doctor:I’m the doctor. Me: dr what? Doctor: no no you’re supposed to say who. Why did you say what. Doctor who intro starts and the title is “the carbonated waters of Mars”
I didn’t go to college for eight years just to be called Mister Pepper
Mr. PiBB dropped out of college
Back in my soda drinking days, Dr. Thunder was pretty legit.
It’s a damn good replacement for Dr. Pepper, even today. Hell of a lot cheaper if you ever buy in bulk.
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You missed Professor Peppy.
I know there’s probably more, but i feel like this one is important.
He’s not a real doctor!
Whaaat?
See? Does that look like Professor Peppy to you?
how do you know it’s a He 😮💨
The professor and I know each other well.
Moist Jesus
Fucked up in the crib sippin dr perky
Can you imagine if you went to the E.R. and were told your attending physician was Dr. Perky?
Friend of mine: ‘Haven’t been “Dr Perky” since my first kid.’
No thanks. I’ll stick with my Bepis.
I respect any soda that puts in the time and effort to earn a doctorate degree. You know who I don’t respect? Mr. Pibb, who can can take his undergrad ass and fuck right off.
Excuse me, but Pibb now identifies as Xtra, not Mr. I think we should respect their gender identity.
It doesn’t take a medical degree to know that stepping on a cushion would be comfy.
All this and yet Mr. Pibb is a step too far.
Mom: Have you seen a Real Doctor yet?
Me: …yes…
