1.) Law to make me eternal king of the city.
2.) Law to mandate my exorbitant salary and discretionary fund.
3.) Law to stipulate the various details of my city-provided harem.You guys suck at genies.
Your town is now bankrupt.
Ice town costs ice clown his town crown.
I would mandate all sidewalks replaced by moving sidewalks.
Also I would wish for infinite towns
“The Roads Must Roll”
I think the state or federal government might step in.
I’m in Utah. I’m just returning the place to its roots.
Granted. You are now the eternal king of The City.
The City pretty much immediately falls to ruin because you don’t know anything about economics, and most of your residents leave. With the economy unable to support your rule, the state has to intervene to save the region.
They charge you with gross neglect, and considering all the lives you’ve ruined, give you a life sentence. You’re immortal now (eternal king), so they pretty much just seal you in a steel reinforced concrete box and drop you in the ocean.
Nothing happens for billions of years.
The sun expands and incinerates the earth. You can’t die but you’re in pain beyond imagining from all the heat and radiation.
This continues for a long time.
Eventually the sun expels the outer layers in a stellar nova and you are condemned to drift across the universe struggling for air for all eternity.
Ban cars in the main street. I’m sure you can learn to walk one block. You might even find you enjoy it when you are not having constant near death experiences with cars.
All those parking spaces are now spaces for pop-up businesses. Food vans, shipping containers that are now selling vegetables, outdoor dining, art fairs, etc.
You can now legally live in those apartments that people used to live in built above the existing shops, before that was made illegal for reasons unknown.
I’ll add some aspects for the areas outside of the main CBD street:
- Separated, protected bike lanes that run the entire city with easy access from the suburban parts
- Traffic calming measures including speed bumps, reduced (and narrower) lanes, continuous sidewalks, and speed limit reduced to 30 km/h (around 20 mph)
- Free public transport
Food vans… in an area where cars are banned? How did the containers get there?
Most places with these bans will allow delivery vehicles and food trucks through. Same goes for emergency vehicles
When I wrote the above I thought, hah someone’s going to be like ‘bUt HoW WilL tHe vAnS gEt tHeRe jEeNiuS?’. But then I thought, nah noones that iamverysmart. Yet, here we are.
So it’s not a car ban and that’s the point. You’ll have to either make an exception, allow electric only traffic or something else. Many businesses also “need” access for disabled and elderly, so taxis also get a pass. Very few models let you reclaim any streets or parking. Cut down a little, maybe. And that’s good of course. But just saying “ban cars” is naïve.
- Progressive vacancy tax - the longer a commercial site sits empty, the more the tax is.
- Abolish most residential height and density limits.
- Rent control
I like the progressive vacancy tax!
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If you buy it, live in it- no more commodification of homes.
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zero tolerance driving policies that prioritize pedestrians and cyclists and blatantly discourage driving.
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safe supply. Anything that was going to be disposed of in police evidence is to be tested and used to start the program. Can’t get people to a place where they want to be treated if they’re dead.
So, no such thing as renting? If I move to the city I’m just homeless until I can afford a house?
Rentals are to be run by the city at a subsidized rate of no more than 30% of the income for the household, regardless of the space required.
We don’t need landlords to fulfill housing needs. They can go get real jobs.
God I would love the pig shit fucker landlord I have to work a single day in his life. Inherited 17 houses.
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A perpetual levy to keep the schools funded, and it floats with CPI or some other index to remain relevant.
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Property and income tax funded high speed internet available to all persons and businesses in city limits free of charge. Also, power, water, waste management, and any licensing and registration fees are all eliminated and they get funded by property and income taxes instead (also fees for public copiers at court houses, libraries, etc).
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Sleeping in public is legal, sleeping in parked cars is legal, cars can’t be towed from the parking lots of businesses outside of the businesses’ operating hours, and no person can be denied use of a public bathroom (regardless of whether or not they purchased anything).
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All businesses and public buildings will be made handicap accessible through city funded grants and fines for non compliant property owners, and rental property owners will be required to make any accessibility modifications a tenant might require.
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Public oversight of police.
Outlaw police unions.
Ranked choice voting.Free public transport, buildings/residences incur additional council rates when sitting empty, better permitting system for food trucks on public property.
- Term Limits (Goodbye family-connected people who haven’t done shit in 20 years)
- Church Is Now a Library (Goodbye assholes who expelled my friend’s fiance for cohabitation, while the minister cohabitated with his girlfriend)
- Anticorruption (Certain people on the council rent their properties/sell things to the town at “market rates”)
No income properties for single family homes. Punishable by jail.
Companies will now have their minimum pay decided by majority vote for up to 70% of the previous year’s profit divided by the number of people employed and companies are decommissioned when they’re found to exploit people in large scale.
People have to give me specifically a blowjob on request. I mean universal basic income. That.
Is this lah lah land where I can pass any law I want locally without it being superseded by state or fed? Then
1.recreational pot is now legal with 32 plant homegrow limit
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Psylocibin mushrooms are now legal and can be sold wherever alcohol, tobacco, and weed are sold including state run stores
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HOAs are outlawed, you can now do whatever the fuck you like with your own properties and not pay yet another yearly fee to an at-best-incompentent-at-worst-malicious burocracy. I have to deal with enough of those already
Absolutely based
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No one eligible for social security can hold office.
the monkey’s paw curls Social Security is abolished
Fine. No one eligible for Medicare. That can’t possibly go…
Fine no one over 60 can hold office.
Return downtown’s roads to being footpaths.
Allow safe biking on the sidewalks
Free electricity and water
- Term limits, the same 3 families have been running my town for 40 years.
- a bypass, we’re a very small town with a huge tourist industry, and the township refuses to approve a bypass because it would divert traffic away from the tourist trap, regardless of the fact that it takes half an hour to cross a town with a single traffic light.
- investment of the tax money into the community. Again, we have a huge tourist industry and a shit ton of money comes into town from it, yet our roads are absolutely terrible, half the town doesn’t have sidewalks, and honestly I don’t know where any of the money goes.
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Make all local utilities city-owned (including internet access as a utility).
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Make all city employees part of a municipal employees union (opt-out available)
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Require all legal judgments against the police department to be paid out of their pension fund.
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Naturalized Landscapes: Reduce budget by naturalizing all public landscapes, alter “unkempt yard” qualifications, incentivize against lawns.
Smart Density Overhaul: Destroy developer’s abilities to build detached home subdivisions, build public homes that are integrated with landscapes and require less upkeep from homeowners, maximize leisure and the things that actually make people happy, roads are… not what they currently are. Subsidize rural taxi service.
Industry Perks: Tax incentives for industrial employers relative to employee’s salaries. Similar remote work incentives for professional-managerial employers. A study on commercial office use will be conducted to determine how to best move in to new work arrangements.
Winner winner chick fucking en dinner right here
