Welcome to the first (unofficial) Bad Writing Prompt day of the Beehaw Writing instance!

I’ve been reading a bit on the instance, and I agree with the consensus that we’re going to need something weekly to bring and keep a community together. So I’m doing my part!

Wait, what do you mean by bad writing prompts? Partially inspired by this post here.

“Don’t try to prove you’re a good writer, you’ll never write anything. Try to prove you’re a bad writer and you’ll write everything.”

So, here’s my general idea. For now, I’ll be posting 3 different things.

  • Bad Character Ideas
  • Bad Setting Ideas
  • Bad Plot Ideas

For you to mix, match and use as you please! Again, I’m writing this off the cuff and with 20 minutes before work, so apologies for the short post, but without any more delay, here’s what I got for you all!

Bad Character Ideas

  • The disgruntled younger sibling of the “Chosen One”

  • A food critic who actually suffers from no sense of taste, getting by on charisma and faking it alone

  • A magical anime girl who has a strange hobby and obsession with taxidermy (Thanks to my coworker for giving me this one haha)

Bad Setting Ideas

  • Cowboys and digimon. How that works I have no clue. Just. Cowboys and digimon combined. If you do this you have my eternal gratitude.

  • Told entirely through the lens of the endless blurb you skip before a recipe.

  • An office building set within purgatory itself.

Bad Plot Ideas

  • The main character has traveled back in time to kill Hitler. Little do they know is Hitler is now a skilled killer of time travelers.

  • A love story where two people are fated to be with one other, lest the world end. They hate each other.

  • A heist on the Vatican vault.

Alright, I’m running out of time, and need to skip off to work. Hope to see some posts, and remember to make it awful. I want some real schlock and cringe. Feel free to use all of the prompts, or none of them! Your reward will be nothing. Ciao ciao!

  • LostInSpaaaace@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    August 1943

    Emo-chan wrapped her arm with an ace bandage. She’d underestimated her prey, and now she was on the defensive. Sirens blared across the alley, as she deftly hid from flashlights searching for her. She could hear the regiment commander barking orders. “Finde das magische Mädchen! Der Führer verlangt es!” She was lucky, the rain would mask her scent and keep the dogs at bay, but she wasn’t willing to give up her prize - the ultimate trophy. She pulled out her raven wand and began casting a spell. “I call upon the power of emotion! Despondent blade!” A purple glowing magic circle appeared in front of her on the cobblestone street, and a sword of black energy, emminating a bright pink aura emerged from it. She grasped the sword in her good arm and the magic circle crackled and then faded away.

    She darted out from the alley and found the nearest soldiers, slicing through them. The blade passed through them, and the men fell to their knees and cried out. Though no injuries were visible, they suffered intense emotional trauma and quickly passed out. Emo chan quickly dispatched the remaining members of the contingent and made her way back to the central administration building. She has lost the element of surprise when her first assault had failed, so she figured she might as well try the direct approach. As she made her way down the hall, she couldn’t help but admire the trophies along the hallway. The Cyber dragon in particular was impressive, retaining the semblance of life she so revered in her own works. If only the artist wasn’t a Nazi, perhaps she could have taken the time to meet them and discuss thier interests.

    She came to the main conference room, where she had first arrived. It was a poor decision in hindsight, appearing in front of the target and assuming the shock would make him an easy mark. She didn’t realize he wasn’t just her pray, but a fellow game hunter, and time traveler.

    “Du Narr! Hast du wirklich geglaubt, du könntest mich besiegen?” Emo-chan turned to see her target, standing across the room, a large gauge rifle in his hand. She chuckled and smiled at him "I don’t know what you just said, but let me guess, something along the lines of “I am all powerful! You could never defeat me!” Hitler smirked. “You think you are the first? I have slain many hunters before you. You will soon be another trophy in that hall, part of mein menagerie.” She raised her sword in front of her face and began chanting. The sword’s aura changed, and a deep green hue began to emanate from it. “Power of emotion - Terror, Awakened!” A pulse of energy began emitting from the blade, creating an enormous pressure wave. Hitler struggled to maintain his stance, as the energy wave pushed on him. The final battle was about to begin.

    • PascalPistachios@beehaw.orgOP
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      1 year ago

      Noooo you cut it off at the best part!!! The destined battle between the time traveling magical girl Emo-Chan and her greatest enemy, Adolf Hitler.

      Also, I unironically love the take you made on emo magical girl. Outside of the context, of, uh, Nazi Germany, I think the power of “deep emotional trauma blade” is just genuinely the funniest thing I’ve read in a while. It’s like shoots beam that gives you anxiety level funny to me.

      Also, I was 100% on board during the first paragraph. Not just for a laugh, but genuinely just intrigued to see where it was going. Don’t you know this is meant to be bad writing? (Seriously though, great job!)

      • LostInSpaaaace@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        I’ll see if I can come up with an ending, but it’s kind of fun to think you’re just left to imagine, right?

            • PascalPistachios@beehaw.orgOP
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              1 year ago

              The cliff hanger is the only negative. It says a lot that I was entirely ready to sit through 5 hours of a movie, and was disappointed when I couldn’t. I seriously cannot recommend the movie enough.