People who are bored all the time could be depressed. Depression being stigmatized, people won’t necessarily want to talk about it more directly, or “bother” other people with it. It could also just be expressing a desire to do something without knowing what.
The people basically encouraging chores (wtf?) or implying they’re a manipulative emotional vampire should consider being a little less judgmental.
You don’t. Boredom is a gift. It drives people to be creative and improve themselves.
I’ve used Dota 2 as a crutch for years, stopping it every now and then when I felt it was interfering with my personal development or school work.
I’m a moment of stoppage now…and man, having the time to write (I like to write), or play with AI stuff or clean my home or pack (we’re moving soon) is really nice. I don’t have that intense inner pressure that comes with winning or losing an online multiplayer game, which just opens up so much space for everything else.
Or it could turn you into a huge stoner like it did to me for like a decade. I’m from a suburban area, but there isn’t much to do around here other than drink, farm and hunt. Drinking gets old quickly and I don’t farm or hunt. Also the weather limited my choice of activities for a good 5 months out of the year.
I just moved down to South Florida where I just want to be active because the weather is nice (at least for now, ask me again in about 4 months) and everyone looks good, so if I’m not laying out by the pool or working out (for “free” at the building’s gym) I’m usually doing something else, rather than sitting inside smoking out of boredom.
Boredom is a gift that gives people energy.
Where they spend that energy is entirely up to their circumstances. Do they binge watch an entire series of the simpsons? Or do they take up painting.
It can lead to wonderful things, but equally it can be squandered.
You don’t. Unless your job is to entertain this person otherwise it’s his/hers problem. If by any chance this this person is putting the responsibility of his/hers emotional state on your shoulders and asking you to do something, it’s not ok and is an attempt of manipulation.
Or a cry for help because the person only knows this way to ask for that kind of help.
A continuous boredom is actually more like a feeling of emptynes and a lack of energy to engage. You cannot help someone fill the emotional emptiness they are feeling, you don’t even know the cause. And it leads only to codependency.
Even if it’s a cry for help you can show them your perspective but it’s their job to heal and get out of the “pit” they are into.
A couple things struck me here, and idk if they’re relevant or not. If it was just an occasional “I’m bored”, that’s one thing. But with always being bored, you start getting into a paraphrased, “Why don’t you entertain me?” And (unless this is a toddler and you’re their parent or babysitter) that’s not your responsibility.
The second thing is, you (and whoever else is entertaining them) aren’t going to be around constantly, nor are you going to be around forever. They will always be bored unless they learn how to entertain themselves, to seek out something that they find interesting or worthwhile or somehow meaningful.
Moving into speculation here, but I would suspect they’d like more connections in their life, so I’d start encouraging them with that. If they’re the type to connect with nature, maybe walks are a good idea, or even if you live in an area where nature is scarce, giving them plants may help. That could be something they nurture from a seed, or a food they can grow, or pretty flowers.
If they connect with animals, then volunteering at a shelter, or getting a job as a dog walker, etc, that may help ground them. If they connect with people, then volunteering is a good way to meet people. Volunteering doesn’t have to be at a shelter or food pantry; in my town you can volunteer with the fire department, schools, local parks, etc. If they crave intellectual stimulation, then encourage them to learn by taking online classes, or to simulate their imagination by reading, preferably physical books.
Anyway, that’s my .02, fwiw. Again, it’s not your job to entertain them, and they’re always going to be bored until they learn how to entertain themselves.
There is two things to do
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find something they enjoy and ask if they want to do it
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realize they were never gonna do #1 no matter how interesting it might be. And now you know why they’re always bored
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Hand them a book. If they don’t start reading, take the book and smack them with it, then hand it back. Very important to never say a word. Just stare seriously, directly into their eyes.
I’m 100% trying this on my 9-year-old next time he tells me he’s bored. It’ll be a gentle smack, of course…
I suggest Redwall. It’s short, it’s awesome. If it’s not a hard cover copy it shouldn’t hurt too much.
My experience with those was that they proved formulaic and repetitive after a time, but the first few were good. They did have problems with shallow characterisations, though, at least to me.
You smack according to the thickness of the skull.
Harvey Danger told me that if you’re bored then you’re boring. So you need to tell them to go do something instead of complain about it. Some people need to be pushed out of their comfort zone to snap out of boredom
The agony and irony is killing me
Expose them to a range of hobbies.
Ask if they want to snuggle? At least now you have something to talk about.
It’s good to be bored, so they can think over things like bad life decissoons, why they are bored and why they think somebody else needs to entertain them instead of fjndjng something to do. (Or why they should do anything anyway)
There’s nothing wrong with doing nothing for a while.
Typically, people aren’t always bored, because otherwise, you are basically emotionally flat and depressed and soon will be suicidal. Have you seen kids that say they are bored? It just means they are not doing anything that interest them.
To get “unbored”, you most likely need to be doing something that is fun, and/or meaningful, and/or enjoyable, and/or worthy, and/or essential to survival (in a way, people who are bored may be having it too easy). It may be better to be doing something productive, personally or socially, than doing something just addictive.
Even being still meditating is doing something (like actively paying attention to the breath).
I don’t get how anyone can be bored nowadays.
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My mom always said, “if you kids don’t have anything you want to do, I have plenty of things I want you to do.” So give them some chores. If they’re gonna be unhappy they can at least be accomplishing something that needs doing. If they hate it enough, they will suddenly think of something they’d rather do, and will enjoy it more because of the alternative. If they stop bringing this problem to you, so much the better.
This is very bad advice from your mom. All it will accomplish is kids stopping to say they are bored to their parents, since they get punished for it.
Getting kids to stop complaining about being bored sounds pretty great!
Sounds like a success than.
Having your kids disconnect from you as a safety net, confidant and role model is a huge failure as a parent.
Give them something creative to do. Boredom is the mother of creativity.
