drop your childhood stories:
>be me, age 12
>hate showering more than anything
>it feels gross and i hate getting wet
>my mom starts telling me that if i don’t shower every day then i can’t eat dinner
>i want my dindin so i come up with a genius plan
>let the shower run for 10-15 minutes while i sit in the bathroom
>quickly wet my hair with sink
>mom buys it, i get dindin
>after a month she gets suspicious
>realize i have to step up my game
>now i run the shower and rub my arms/neck with hand soap
>also run my hair under the shower so it’s dripping wet and not just moist
>she asks why i haven’t asked her to buy shampoo yet
>come up with final version of my genius plan
>i’ll stand next to the shower, let the water run, rub soap on my whole body and also use shampoo on my hair so it smells like shampoo
>then i’ll rinse off in the sink
>all while the shower runs

i did this for four years until i realized i was just showering on hard mode

  • sbv@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    2491·
    10 个月前

    Kids are great. Mine spend 5-10 minutes refusing to do a two minute task.

    Kind of like how I spend three or four days avoiding a ten minute phone call.

      • GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip
        7010·
        10 个月前

        Not the flex you think it is lol

        Seriously, get your teeth fixed. It’s such a huge impact on your quality of life, especially later in life when that damage really starts to affect your eating habits or self confidence

        • Duranie@literature.cafe
          701·
          10 个月前

          I wouldn’t call it a flex. But sometimes openly admitting something even to strangers on the Internet can offer some ownership of the situation and start someone headed the right direction.

        • KingJalopy @lemm.ee
          24·
          10 个月前

          Not to mention, you could literally fucking die from a tooth infection if left untreated.

      • 7u5k3n@lemmy.world
        14·
        10 个月前

        Broke a tooth on a pizza crust once… 5 years later it abscessed and I had to have emergency surgery to have it removed.

        Fun times :/

          • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
            61·
            10 个月前

            I’m just waiting Americans to come in and tell that actually that’s just Houston style pizza or some shit and it’s supposed to be like that (also it’s a cube, don’t worry about it)

            • Holyhandgrenade@lemmy.world
              5·
              10 个月前

              Houston lobbied for the FDA to permit the addition of glass shards to pizza dough as a bulking agent. What doesn’t kill your teeth and internal organs can only make you stronger!

      • Zoot@reddthat.com
        4·
        10 个月前

        Fuck me i think I’m on my way to living the pain you had to endure… Maybe I can get another few years like you… maybe

    • qevlarr@lemmy.world
      34·
      10 个月前

      “dinner is ready in two minutes”

      Two minutes later, dinner ready

      “but I just started a new game!”

      🙄

    • CJOtheReal@ani.social
      9·
      10 个月前

      4 days… I’ve been avoiding some phone calls for straight up 3 years now, the people probably think im dead.

  • Hikermick@lemmy.world
    123·
    10 个月前

    This is a right of passage. Growing up there are times when you find out that the easy way to go about doing something is the way your parents were trying to pound into your head all along

  • webghost0101@sopuli.xyz
    1054·
    10 个月前

    If this isnt fake op may actually be on the spectrum. Washing yourself with the sink Is also called a catwash.

    been plenty of times i ve been way to overtimulated to handle a full shower its much more manageable to wash and dry hair and body parts separately one by one.

    Op learned what many autistic people do. Inventing an alternative method while masking it into the socially acceptable method.

  • Feirdro@lemmy.world
    57·
    10 个月前

    I’m constantly amazed at the variety of possible human sensory differences.

    My problem is not spending the whole day in the shower.

  • PatFusty@lemm.ee
    6520·
    10 个月前

    are you guys that bitch made that saying retarded on a 4chan sub is crossed out

    • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
      518·
      10 个月前

      Yeah ngl as someone who grew up being called retarded for being autistic I really hate how this word has become a slur.

      Like every time people create a word for a specific type of person it becomes a slur. At some point people need to just get the fuck over it.

      • LwL@lemmy.world
        314·
        10 个月前

        I also just don’t get the point of censoring. I don’t have any particular feelings about the word retarded, but I’m also autistic. Do I get annoyed when people use autistic as an insult (i hope it never reaches actual slur status because I’ll never accept it as such), esp for stuff that has nothing to do with ASD symptoms at all? Sure. Does it make it better if someone crosses it out in a screenshot, or censors it in a quote? Lolno.

        • smeg@feddit.ukEnglish
          206·
          10 个月前

          Censoring is stupid and people self-censoring just makes me think the user is a child who’s scared of being caught saying the naughty words or is just copying what TV does as if they also have to adhere to broadcasting regulations.

          A lot of people online don’t seem to understand the difference between referencing a word and invoking it. For example, we’re in a 4chan community, you should really expect there to be very offensive language in the posts themselves, but we’re adults here and we can look at the word “retarded” without thinking that it’s OK to use as a slur ourselves.

      • Anamnesis@lemmy.world
        214·
        10 个月前

        It was a slur the entire time millennials were growing up. It hasn’t not been a slur since…the 70s?

        • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
          1914·
          10 个月前

          So was removed and the n word. The fact that I can spell out one but not the other is also kinda my point.

          I’m retarded. It takes me longer to figure things out than most. I’m not ashamed of that. In fact when I finally figure something out, I actually understand it better than the average person.

          Edit: Wow you can’t even say f a g g o t on lemmy. From a bisexual standpoint that’s fucked up

          • can@sh.itjust.works
            3·
            10 个月前

            I think maybe that’s a lemmy.world thing? I did a test and I can say it. I see removed in your comment though and if you view my test from your instance (not my sh.itjust.works link above) I suspect you won’t see it.

            Unless you’re trolling.

            • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
              2·
              10 个月前

              Yeah it’s apparently specific to my instance. That’s pretty fuckin annoying. Is sh.itjust.works still federated with hexbear?

              • can@sh.itjust.works
                2·
                10 个月前

                That’s an interesting question actually. We had a vote and the result was to defederate but I still sometimes see the odd comment from a user. I never see their communities though. Might be similar to what lemmy.world did to kbin.social

              • zip@lemmy.blahaj.zone
                English
                2·
                10 个月前

                I don’t know why, but this comment caught me off guard and made me laugh. It’s even funnier if you take away the context of the rest of the thread.

                • can@sh.itjust.works
                  1·
                  10 个月前

                  Glad you enjoyed it lol. I did it as a self reply because I realized it would be a really weird reply notification to get with no context.

            • can@sh.itjust.works
              2·
              10 个月前

              I think you mean lemmy.world and that appears to be by design. Someone was going to want to fill that void but at least with lemmy we have options.

  • bugs@lemmy.worldEnglish
    441·
    10 个月前

    Are we ignoring the fact they did this until they were 16? I mean like, if this ended when they were 12 that’d be pretty par for the course kid idiocy. But 16? Damn dude.

    • Droechai@lemm.eeEnglish
      18·
      10 个月前

      The person might be autistic, the sensory issue of shower but being fine with sink rinse sounds a bit similar to my own sensory problems and in that case the age range wouldn’t be that off. At least the parent got the kid to clean itself so hopefully it worked enough to be hygienic

  • GM_Guy_0013@lemmy.world
    36·
    10 个月前

    I was 75% that… I was just dumb and my parents heard the sink running at the same time and opened the door and confronted me lol.

  • leftzero@lemmy.ml
    32·
    10 个月前

    Had to do x km/day on the static bike, because fat.

    Got no time for that.

    Old static bike, with mechanical revolution counter.

    Unscrew spinning cable that feeds from the bike into the counter.

    MacGyver Lego contraption, with motor, with a pointy bit that fits where the cable would go.

    Motor goes brrr, do required km in seconds, plug cable back in, rinse and repeat;, parents never find out (I “exercised” while they were working).

    Still fat. 😞

    • Nepenthe@kbin.social
      51·
      10 个月前

      This seems like some “Einstein working at the patent office” type shit to me. I would have never thought how to do that and I hope that mechanical aptitude has stuck around somehow.

      • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
        6·
        10 个月前

        Yeah but Einstein actually did work. This guy’s just come up with an incredibly convoluted way to make it look like you’ve done work.

        It may have been easy to just do the exercise

        • Zeppo@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
          2·
          10 个月前

          That aptitude could be repurposed to do something useful. Programmers spend hours figuring out how to automate stuff due to laziness and desire to avoid tedium.

  • thorbot@lemmy.world
    12·
    10 个月前

    Anything that starts with “be me” is pretty much universally idiotic, so this is no surprise.

  • UNWILLING_PARTICIPANT@sh.itjust.works
    10·
    10 个月前

    God I was a pig headed, grubby little preteen I relate to this in spirit so hard.

    Pushing boundaries by never doing exactly what you’re told: always put your own idiotic spin on it, or else the adults win!

    • WolfdadCigarette@threads.net@sh.itjust.worksOP
      192·
      10 个月前

      You’re allowed to do anything anywhere. All acts are permissible, in the grand scheme. I just don’t care to. Now bothering the people who want to say it, that’s my jam.

    • Kedly@lemm.ee
      61·
      10 个月前

      Lemmy seems to hate that word more than reddit funnily enough. It was my first instance of learning that Tankies have a FUCKED sense of priorities

      • abraxas@sh.itjust.works
        41·
        10 个月前

        A lot of us are really hoping Lemmy doesn’t turn into tankie-voat to the extent a lot of lemmy instances are staying away from tankie instances. Being uncool with some shit (like making fun of mentally handicapped people) is part of that.

        • Kedly@lemm.ee
          2·
          10 个月前

          1: The vast majority of people using the word Retard are NOT maming fun of mentally handicapped people, its a word used for someone who made a very stupid decision they were perfectly mentally capable of not making, both people who are and who arent mentally handicapped are capable of being retarded.

          2: Its the tankie servers that gave me a 3 day ban for using the word, the fucked sense of priorities I was talking about was their supposed heavy support of social justice issues while simultaneously supporting/believing Russia/China have done nothing wrong

          • abraxas@sh.itjust.works
            4·
            10 个月前

            The vast majority of people using the word Retard

            I have had too many mentally challenged folk in my life, and they are offended by it. It’s something to keep in mind.

            the fucked sense of priorities… believing Russia/China have done nothing wrong

            Oh yeah, they’re idiots. Thank god they’re not smart enough to make their dystopian wet-dream happen.

            • Kedly@lemm.ee
              2·
              10 个月前

              Thats fair, and tbh I’d never use the term around someone with a mental disability unless they told me to (which HAS happened) in person, but on the internet where a thicker skin is required in general, or around friends I dont really see a better blunt term for stupidity, idiot has the same problem as Retard and any term that works now will eventually be tainted by the few who DO use mental health terms derogatively