I have extensive evidence to support this.
- doesn’t get stringy and stuck between your teeth
- so convenient - can be sourced from a can without being 10000% revolting
- vegan, vegetarian, and gluten-free
- choose your own adventure: fresh enzyme mouth tingles or gentle sweet tidbits
- as American as cheese on apple pie
- not green pepper
Upvoting your bravery, even if outright wrong. You deserve jail, but I hope cuisine lords forgive you one day.