• Cold_Brew_Enema@lemmy.world
    251·
    9 months ago

    I was watching a tornado video where a tornado hit a gas station with a ton of people in it. Inside, a woman was screaming “heavenly father, dear jesus” over and over again, and I just kept thinking about how if she lives, she’ll say Jesus saved her, but i be bet she didnt think about any of the other 100 people who died during that particular tornado. Not sure this is relevant at all, but I was annoyed.

    • loki@lemmy.mlEnglish
      18·
      9 months ago

      If she lives, she’ll say Jesus saved her

      that’s basically survivorship bias, isn’t it?

      • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
        32·
        9 months ago

        A man was stranded on his roof during a flood.

        A passersby paddling a boat called out “Jump on I’ll save you!”

        “No thanks, god will save me” said the man.

        So the boat paddled off.

        The water kept rising slowly.

        Then a motorboat drove by.

        “Swim over and jump on, I’ll save you!” Said the driver.

        “No thanks, god will save me.” Said the man.

        So the motorboat drove by.

        The water kept rising slowly.

        Then a helicopter appeared and dropped a ladder for the man.

        “Climb on!” Said the pilot. “We’ll save you!”

        “No thanks, god will save me.” Said the man.

        So the helicopter flew away.

        The water continued to rise until the man drowned.

        When in heaven he found god and asked, “God? Why didn’t you save me!? I waited and waited and you never showed!?”

        “I sent you two boats and a helicopter what the fuck else did you want!?” Replied god.

  • HAL_9_TRILLION@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    12·
    9 months ago

    My favorite is billionaire football team owners giving “glory to god” in their postgame comments when they win the AFC championship. Like motherfucker, you think God roots for Kansas City? How unbelievably stupid can you be? Nevermind Matthew 6:5. They’re all full of shit and if there is a hell, they’re all headed there.

  • groupofcrows@lemmy.ca
    4·
    9 months ago

    I was watching an interview of a World Youth Day attendee, he said the lunch was disappointing and he prayed to God the food would be better tomorrow. That’s when I realised if God was real and Christians had a direct link to him, it’s no wonder prayers are ignored. He probably has them all on his block list because 99.9% of the things they ask for is trivial.