This summer, prepare to get blown away in the latest Chad Bikeman blockbuster!
Prompt: an action movie poster with lots of explosions and the protagonist on a motorcycle wearing big black sunglasses, the title "Big Generic Action Movie" is written in big red letters --ar 2:3 --v 6 --stylize 55
Only sharing this one because the spelling is perfect :)
Mmm. The protagonist could be manlier. He’s too well-shaven for an action movie with explosions.
I know! What were they thinking casting Chad Bikeman as the main lead for this movie!? I mean, he was fantastic in Generic Teenage Drama 1, but that was 15 years ago! God, I loved that movie… Chad and Swoonessa (Stupid stage name, fantastic actress) had such a romantic spark!
But then they made the other G.T.D.’s and by part 4 it was clear he was really getting too old for these movies. You can only do so much with makeup and a 36 year old teen is really getting unbelievable. His stint in rehab clearly didn’t help either ( I heard he was arrested on a D.U.I. but they managed to cover it up).
Anyway, I’m getting off track. I totally agree they should have hired a more suitable actor like Mike Squarejaw, but I heard he’s already working on Generic Disaster Movie 2.
I don’t know who Chad’s agent is, but they are definitely worth their weight in gold if they managed to put him in this movie.
It’s John Cusak! He’s always clean shaven.
This time, he keeps the two dollars
He’s fleeing the destruction of the paperboy scorned.
Lil jowly too, from booze-induced puffiness.
Apparently real men ride the clutch and feather the brakes whilst escaping from an explosion they are otherwise ignoring.