Maybe next time divide the power of the instance between people. From there you could create some policies to handle issues.

It seems like drama in community infrastructure is common. Its best to think ahead.

Sorry about your instance though. I take it you didn’t buy the domain.

The domain and name of the place was my idea, how do you think I feel :(

Not really related but I love everything you bring to Lemmy and I haven’t caught the Star Trek bug yet. Give ’em hell and don’t let them bring you down.

In one of those deleted posts you told me that my other instance (Beehaw) is especially aggressive about blocking instances, and you said that there had been some disagreement with a mod that I’d have to research myself.

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Illegal activity (not you, the piracy instance)

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Always!

Wow. Okay. I think like you read a lot of negative tone into my comment that wasn’t there so I’m going to explicitly say here and now that my tone is polite and casual. I am not trying to be accusatory.

Well, here is part of the issue. As much as it may not have been your intention to come off so negative, you still achieved that based on your message. My reasoning for that is you started off by correcting my incorrect choice of word. I acknowledge I used the wrong term here as an admin is different from a moderator. However, if your goal was to take responsibility and apologize, that’s not a great way to start off. It absolutely sets the tone for the rest of your message. Your apology and acknowledgement of your actions are buried in things that come off as excuses and defensiveness. See here with the message highlighted to visualize the negative vs positive connotation. Though, FYI, what is also important is to note that pointing out the specific difference between words is in fact “semantics”, just like this sentence is in regards to the semantics of the word “semantics” itself. So “It’s not semantics in this case.” is just not accurate.

No. It was not. This is proven in the screenshot you yourself posted as the person below me is responding to the exact same comment. My tone is now starting to change from friendly to cautious because I’m not a huge fan of being lied about, especially when you yourself have posted the proof against your own claim.

I’m not sure why you’re assuming that just because there is another comment along side yours is proof that your comment was not first. Since the whole post is gone and neither of us can reference it directly I can only go off memory. I recall yours being first, but let’s assume I was partially wrong and your comment was only among the first. My issue with it is that you have a large amount of weight in the Star Trek communities, and particularly under your own posts, and so when you post a toxic comment it shows others that it’s okay to do so as well. Because of your weight in the community, and now that you are a moderator it’s even more prudent, that you are held to a higher standard. Because you set the bar for what is acceptable in these communities. When you make a comment it’s more than just moving a small rock, it becomes more of a land slide.

It doesn’t change my actions. It reflects yours. You haven’t said anything about this for months and made a screenshot immediately of it. You never talked about this to me. You never gave me a chance to apologize. You never addressed to me at all.

It feels like you’re trying to shift blame here or something. I did try to address you. I called everyone out on that comment thread for their toxicity. The reason why that screenshot exists is because I called you out in particular. I still don’t even see how it’s relevant, but I’d rather move on from this point.

No. You made a toxic comment. You made some “joke” that all the cast of SNW were too pretty or too beautiful. It was a backhanded and snarky comment which is why you were called jealous by the person in your screenshot. This is also why I said that you want what you can’t have. As for the ping, I didn’t get one or at least never saw one. But the last thing I would have been interested in doing in that moment would have been doubling down in public. If I got a ping like that I would have sent a private apology. Because I deleted it due to feeling like a dick. Did I think your comment was tasteless, unfunny, and frankly kind of rude? Yeah. But did I feel like a douchebag for being negative towards you? Yes. Thus why it was deleted almost immediately.

Wow. This is just purely insulting and toxic. The joke I made was “Ah yes, Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, the show where only beautiful people are allowed” or along those lines. I was not calling anyone “too pretty” or “too beautiful”, it was a comment/joke on how it feels unrealistic with the way everyone looks like super models which, yes, is a backhanded and snarky remark on the state of Hollywood and our media. And now here you are doubling down on the toxic comment! Why the hell do you need to provide the reason or logic for the toxic comment? Seriously? How the hell else am I supposed to interpret this as anything but negative? “Disagreements will happen both on lore and preferences. That’s okay! Just don’t let it make you forget that the person you are talking to is also a person.”

Additionally, even though you deleted your comment it does not undo what you did. Did you just think no one saw your comment and it had no effect so you could just delete it and pretend it never happened? Well, people saw your comment, including the person your toxicity was aimed at. You participated in a dogpile in a community where you hold a lot of weight, and under one of your own posts. You say you felt bad enough to delete the comment, but then stood by while others did the same. You had to have seen all of that when you went to delete the comment. What did you do when deleting your comment? You just moved on and tried to pretend your comment didn’t exist. If you honestly felt bad for it, then why should I be expected to request an apology from you? I’ve never heard of anyone requiring someone to request an apology for their poor behavior, and I would never even consider that a requirement for anyone I slighted even if accidental. What kind of weight would a private apology have compared to the public toxicity you showed towards me?

Look, I am bringing this up now because you are now a moderator for a new community. I am hoping that knowing the consequences of your actions will help you make better decisions in the future. I am trying to hold you to your own community’s rule of “Just don’t let it make you forget that the person you are talking to is also a person.”. I suggest instead of deleting a comment entirely, edit out the toxicity and explain why you removed it. That in itself would have been its own apology. Like I mentioned before, your actions have more weight than the average user and because of that you need to be held to a higher standard since you set the bar for how people interact in this community. This is an opportunity to start to move this community away from toxic behaviors, and it has to start by setting a new standard yourself with your own actions. You want a chance to right your wrong? Here is your chance. Don’t try to excuse yourself or pass the blame. Just simply acknowledge what you did, apologize, and try to do better in the future. If you see dogpiling, step in and say something.

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