I can empathize somewhat with that. I served in the U.S. Navy on a submarine(which was all-male at the time). Not ideal considering that I was a closeted trans woman. I only really enlisted because I desperately needed independence from my parents. But, yes, there was an entrenched macho culture there, and I had to hide enormous portions of my personality. Being autistic and trans, I am used to having to mask things to fit in, but I nearly hit a breaking point a few times. I spent six months on a deployment to the Middle East in which 90% of the time I was living on the boat 24/7, not getting to be myself except in my dreams. That plus the whole “never getting to see the sun” thing did a number on me. I am so glad that’s over, and I am so glad I decided to get over my fear and transition.
Wow. Thanks for sharing!
I can empathize somewhat with that. I served in the U.S. Navy on a submarine(which was all-male at the time). Not ideal considering that I was a closeted trans woman. I only really enlisted because I desperately needed independence from my parents. But, yes, there was an entrenched macho culture there, and I had to hide enormous portions of my personality. Being autistic and trans, I am used to having to mask things to fit in, but I nearly hit a breaking point a few times. I spent six months on a deployment to the Middle East in which 90% of the time I was living on the boat 24/7, not getting to be myself except in my dreams. That plus the whole “never getting to see the sun” thing did a number on me. I am so glad that’s over, and I am so glad I decided to get over my fear and transition.