I’ve given up trying to sort out the formatting blip below. “he’s a very mad man” can be replaced with “she’s a very mad mam” if ya want.

JADED rummages through the pockets of his huge coat, before finding his VAPE PEN AND JUICE, amongst the various bits of rubbish and lint, is a small, portion-control-sized pot of jam.

SHERBOURNE: Why have you got a tiny pot of jam?

JADED: Oh… it’s er, it’s for the bees.

OFFALY: It’s for what?

JADED: It’s for the bees.

ARFUR: What bees?

JADED: Well exactly, you barely see them at all now, and when you do, they’re always struggling, and sometimes all they need is a little bit of sugar and they’re off on their way

Pause

SHERBOURNE: singing, quietly and slowly at first He’s a very mad man

OFFALY: He carries around a pot of jam

ARFUR: He told me that it’s for the bees

SHERBOURNE: But I saw him rub it on his knees!

OFFALY/ARFUR/SHERBOURNE: starting to dance around JADED
He’s a very mad man

					He carries around a pot of jam

					He told me that it’s for the bees 

					But I saw him rub it on his knees

					
					*dancing with increased fervour*
					He’s a very mad man		
					He carries around a pot of jam
					He told us that it’s for the bees 
					But we saw him rub it on his knees

OFFALY/ARFUR/SHERBOURNE: dancing with increased fervour still He’s a very mad man He carries around a pot of jam He told us that it’s for the bees But we saw him rub it on his knees

OFFALY/ARFUR/SHERBOURNE: dancing with increased fervour still HE’S A VERY MAD MAN HE CARRIES AROUND A POT OF JAM HE TOLD US THAT IT’S FOR THE BEES BUT WE SAW HIM RUB IT ON HIS KNEES

OFFALY/ARFUR/SHERBOURNE: dancing with increased fervour still HE’S A VERY MAD MAN HE CARRIES AROUND A POT OF JAM HE TOLD US THAT IT’S FOR THE BEES BUT WE SAW HIM RUB IT ON HIS KNEES

JADED: I’M A VERY MAD MAN! (pulls his trousers down) I CARRY AROUND A POT OF JAM I TOLD ‘EM THAT IT’S FOR THE BEES (rubs jam on his knees) BUT I REALLY RUB IT ON ME KNEES!

OFFALY/ARFUR/SHERBOURNE: muffled, licking the jam off JADED’s knees, alongside CHEESECAKE HE’S A VERY MAD MAN HE CARRIES AROUND A POT OF JAM HE TOLD US THAT IT’S FOR THE BEES (releasing their mouths from JADED’s knees) THE PALS: But he reaaaaaaally rubs it on his kneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!

							Lights down.