Let’s assume that you recently cracked your egg. You then had a period of intense focus on this realization. You came out to friends, you explored things typically associated with your newfound gender identity (such as clothes), and you reveled in how this made you feel. You were confident that you want to transition.
Cut forward a few weeks. The novelty has worn off and getting access to medical care is so slow. Also you’re not out everywhere yet (e.g. work), so you still get addressed with your old pronouns and name constantly. Thinking or talking about yourself trips you up all the time, because you keep misgendering yourself. Your chosen pronouns and name still feel nice but also like a reminder of who you aren’t “yet”. You feel tired.
You start to ask yourself if you’re really trans or if it was just the novelty of it all. If all of this is worth it. But at the same time you’d still press a magic button that gives you the body you dream of in a heartbeat.
How would you deal with this?
I would deal with this, and did, the only way that you really can: take it one day at a time, have deep reserves of both patience and grace, for yourself AND others, and remind yourself that transition is a marathon, not a sprint.
Puberty sucks real bad, even when it’s the correct puberty, and there’s a whole lot of “everything at whatever pace it goes at” to the experience that can feel depressingly, agonizingly slow.
You’ll get there. Take a deep breath and, rather than focusing on all the things you need to get to and need to get started and need to navigate your way through, allow yourself a moment to celebrate the few small victories you already accomplished! Those are the building blocks that can get you to your “magic button-adjacent” future.