I’d be impressed by anyone who could “Hello, world” in MIPS

Somehow I never got into Barbies, but now I really really really want a Polly Pocket movie

The mechanics are so frustrating …

1. Off-the-shoulder means cold shoulders
2. Off-the-shoulder means limited bra options
3. Off-the shoulder usually limits your arm movement
4. …or you have to be very careful that things don’t slip too far and reveal a nip
5. Mesh and gauze is just right out - pointless fabrics!
6. These super loose and flowy shirts are hard to keep tucked in, so then my side flank gets cold
7. …or if it’s long enough enough to tuck, it results in a balloon of fabric that makes me look pregnant
8. Just to confirm, cause this is still hard for me to wrap my head around … you ACTUALLY find this kind of thing cute?

https://www.everlane.com/products/womens-drapey-square-shirt-kalmata https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/bl-nk-miranda-peasant-blouse2 https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/by-anthropologie-mini-tulle-layer https://www.nordstrom.com/s/off-the-shoulder-top/7476942 https://www.nordstrom.com/s/ceres-off-the-shoulder-satin-blouse/7460847

Whoo boy.

I used to work in the financial industry, specifically in a program geared toward women (trying to make financial services more approachable and inclusive). Much of their published “educational” material is about the harsh financial realities of being a woman, and the writers keep repeating this falsehood … as if the phrase “controlled pay gap” is profanity.

Don’t get me wrong, we should still be mindful of bias. We should acknowledge the pressure on women to take career breaks as caretakers (and, on the flip side, the pressure on men to be primary wage earners). And it’s perfectly valid to question whether pink collar work is undervalued and underpaid because these are traditionally female occupations.

But the women I worked with (most of them VPs in finance) simply preferred to believe that they were underpaid because of their gender. No matter what dollar figure you offered, no matter the industry/company/job role/etc., they would firmly believe that having a penis = 20% pay bump.

Like … that’s not how averages work ??

Ah yes, how could I forget the mesh / gauze / see-through tops and dresses! There’s nothing like buying an article of clothing that requires buying more articles of clothing to go underneath, or fails to provide any warmth or a barrier of any kind.

Thanks for the tip re: tailoring :)

It’s one small thing to be thankful for. At the same time that I started losing my tolerance and drinking went from “yea!” to straight “blech”, sober curious became more of a trend. Any decent bar/restaurant will have a (good!) mocktail or two, and non-alcoholic beer really has lagers and IPAs figured out.

And I don’t feel like there’s any social pressure or scrutiny over what I’m (not) drinking.

I just heard this for the first time … an hour ago? From a Lemmy comment.

It does sound vaguely gross to my ears. Then again, so does the word “frothy” in a way I can’t explain. (But “moist” has never been an issue.)

I had the most amazing papardelle on Saturday! It was also comically slippery and difficult to share (went to an Italian restaurant for date night and got a few plates to split).

And I learned how to pronounce orechiette.

everyone looked like they dressed themselves by stumbling blindly through the discount rack at Gap Kids

I just want to say how much I loved this description and actually chortled. TBF, a google search of “early 2000s fashion” does indeed reveal no end of horrors… But it feels like this was somehow just a celebrity thing? Because we didn’t dress like crazy people at the time. I still think there was something iconic about Keira Knightley’s abs, but we weren’t stepping out of the house like that ;)

Shopping is annoying but still possible

True true! It used to be easy to find styles that resonated, and now I just have to dig a bit deeper.

On the topic of manufacturers, I also read that boxy styles can be a cost-cutting technique. Because it’s easier than tailoring/tucking or making other adjustments when the human form isn’t a simple rectangle.

Size 0 models, too…it’s not just about cultural norms or fat shaming, it’s also laziness. It’s more work to tailor a garment to a curvy figure than a waifish one. (Plus, there’s the simplicity of only having to supply one size.) Which isn’t hating on anyone who happens to be a size 0 or a boxy shape to begin with! :)

Hahah this is true!! Maybe it’s easier to remember the trends that aged well.

I think of shoulder pads as cringe, but apparently those are making a comeback … https://www.thelist.com/465500/the-truth-about-whether-or-not-shoulder-pads-are-back-in-style/

“Objective opinion” seems like an oxymoron, no? Did you mean the subjectivity of personal taste?

I didn’t think this needed to be said in the context of casual conversation/griping…but no, I don’t consider my taste in clothing (or music, or movies, or books, or food) to be objective fact that overrules every other person’s perspective.

If I post about how pineapple on pizza is amazing (which it is) and all you pineapple haters are missing out, that doesn’t mean I literally believe that everyone with taste buds will enjoy the taste of pineapple on pizza.

This is just my personal reaction to having trouble finding comfortable, flattering clothes beyond athletic attire. And I thought there might be other 30-something-year-old women on the internet with similar frustrations who could offer a pointer or two.

It took me years, but I finally started to appreciate high-waisted jeans after it dawned on me…oh, you can tuck IN the shirt. (I also have wide hips, but most importantly a nickel sensitivity. So getting this layer of fabric between my belly and the top button was a game changer! And allowed for more comfortable sitting haha.)

It’s interesting that you mention sewing. I’m not very crafty, but maybe I could find a tailor/seamstress to make the simple kind of summer dress that I find flattering & comfy: a knee-length cylinder of fabric, somewhat form-fitting but not bandage/bodycon-level slinky, with basic straps rather than boho pouf sleeves or fringe or whimsical off-the-shoulder cuts.

P.S. I was also kind of a goth in HS, but less baggy goth and more Shirley Manson/Faith the Vampire Slayer inspired, with a bit of skapunk influence from my peer group. But I’m too lazy to accessorize these days ;) So at home it’s 90% athleisure, and in the office it’s the traditional business (casual) wardrobe I established ~10 years ago. Only, that’s starting to feel too formal, and I’m trying to reclaim an actual sense of style.

Maybe. But I can see the appeal in many other eras and styles that I didn’t grow up with and have no business relating to…

Is it “insecure” to want a garment that fits the human form and doesn’t bunch / ride up / fall off my shoulders / let in the breeze? This doesn’t even have to do with fashion from an aesthetic perspective, it has to do with function and comfort. (Lord knows, I gave up on “glam” fifteen years ago…)

In an office?? I feel like that would be weird or come across as sarcastic. I call my boss by his first name. Heck, we don’t even call CEOs sir/ma’am anymore.

In my last job (which was on a team of all cis women), people shared their pronouns…both singular AND plural (i.e., how they wanted to be referred to in a group). Which is pretty bizarre. Like, what if one person’s plural pronoun is “folks” and another’s is “friends”…then which term are you supposed to use?

And I came to hate saying “friends” because we weren’t friends. It was a soul-sucking corporate gig, and I wasn’t part of their mom squad…I never saw them outside of work, and I was always the last to learn about team changes, so let’s be real: we aren’t friends, we’re coworkers. It got creepy being expected to smile and address everyone as “friends”!

FWIW, I have nothing against folks or guys or y’all ;)

Weird headline … if the motivation is “somebody-other-than-Trump”, shouldn’t that result in more donations to other Republican candidates? At least until we’re through the primaries?

I also wonder how much is from corporate donations and PACs vs. individual donations. Trump is unhinged enough to scare wealthy conservatives…business interests favor stability and the status quo, and the finance industry has a special place in its heart for credit card Joe. (As a twisted bonus, gridlock in Washington is considered good for the stock market.) And if we’re measuring in dollars here, the opinion of one CEO or board is going to count thousands of times more than any of our donations.

Millennial woman in New England

This makes a lot of sense, actually.

And I bet we all have this to some degree … I don’t WANT to think of myself as the bad guy. And my first reaction to criticism is usually defensiveness. Unless I’m already feeling bad/regretful about something, then I need some time and space to consider my behavior from someone else’s perspective.

But yea in his parents’ case it seems painfully simple-minded: we’re on the correct side of history and fly BLM flags so we’re good people. Nevermind that we faked unemployment from the CARES act for a little spending money (not due to any financial hardship) or that we probably gave people COVID on our travels…because as long as they aren’t actively out there calling people names or posting conspiracy theories to facebook, they’re the good ones. They’re “inclusive”, not hateful. They’ll admit that we’re “all in this together” and yadda yadda.

Maybe it’s partly how they were raised, but in this case, it also feels like political polarization has given them the confidence to be selfish a-holes.

I’m still friendly with my in-laws, but I will never respect or trust them in quite the same way.

They’re very liberal and proud to “believe the science!”, always making fun of conservative anti-vaxxers.

And yet, during a major COVID wave, they went bar hopping without telling us (we were all going to a family member’s wedding, so my partner and I were trying to be VERY cautious and avoid bringing any germs to this wedding). Then they coughed all night without bothering to test. And once they tested positive, they started googling different countries’ COVID policies looking for any guidance that would “let” them go to the wedding. With the bride’s 90-year-old grandpa in attendance.

On the plane ride back, I emphasized the importance of wearing N-95s in case we were still contagious … but as soon as I got up to pee, I realized they were both napping UNMASKED.

But somehow they’re not the problem. If only those stupid Trumpies would wear masks, then we wouldn’t have a pandemic.

We had an awkward semi-falling out over this at the time. And yet, the next time we visited his family, people were coughing all over the place AGAIN, and no one had tested AGAIN. (This was over the holidays, so I would have been “stuck” there and unable to see my own family if anyone actually had COVID, which thankfully they didn’t this time.)

At this point, I’ve just come to understand and accept it. His parents were always the fun ones - they have people over all the time, they’ll cook for you, they can hold their liquor, they’ll light up a joint while blasting Grateful Dead. They’re also politically vocal and super woke for their age.

But don’t expect them to be honest if it might interrupt their fun. Don’t rely on them. Because really, they only care about other people when it’s either fashionable or convenient.