holy fucking fuck

terf island really fumbled a baddie

okay so get this, humans like to simulate procreation with objects not intended for it, right? They do it with their digestion entry points too because it produces pre-digestive fluids that resemble the lubrication of reproduction organs to reduce friction and make it more pleasurable. One way of increasing this faux lubricant output is by inhaling air to stimulate the glands within the orifice which produces a sound which is onomatopoeically similar to the word for a predatory flying organism (hawk), while the act of ejecting the fluids creates an audible exasperation which can be phonetically reconstructed as “tuah” (IPA: [ˈtʼɤ̂ː]). The point is, it’s a really lame joke and I want them to destroy us for ever making it a thing.

weapons grade cognitohazard

I would explain hawk tuah

bleach told me it’s pronounced yooha wahkah

what is bofa

he’s in his Yeezus phase

I A AF FR FR

try the plain “soy beverage” labeled ones from asian markets or order it fresh from a chinese breakfast place if there’s a chinatown around you. Western formulated soy milk tends to either be gooey because of additives or watery without them if organic.

hexbear kicked my dog and poisoned the water hole

Hope you’re proud of yourself champ

because I sure am

this is a family decision and you should consult your cats

I know this is easier said than done, but my preferred first step would’ve been to ask other tenants to help harass building management into installing lockable indoor bike racks. It’s probably not gonna get anything done in itself, but it’ll help get other people involved and thinking about the issue, because I bet other cyclists would like to have some place safe to lock their bikes outside of their living spaces.

why is amongus swinging its balls

that’s not the workplace, it’s my job title

Mr Baste

deleted by creator

Ah schweet

somewhere there’s a very sad person who couldn’t make haggis because of a hole in their grocery bags