You know… this one is really complex.

Nobody feels hesitation to seek the help they need based on funds, but now due to access or wait times.

It wasn’t always like this, in the 2000s it was marvellous, I remember having a medical scare, showed up at the ER, got triaged right into a doctor because it was time sensitive, saw the doc, got an examination, got cleared, and discharged $0.

Now I feel apprehensive about seeing my local clinic for a sprained ankle.

Now you may wonder why? Is the system failing? Well…yes, and no.

In the last decade or so, we’ve seen a strong ultra-right push to “prove” the system is broken and we need to copy the way the US has it (so the politicians friends that own pharma services etc… get lucrative deals from the govt) by sabotaging it directly and saying “look, it’s broken”

One very clear instance, in my province (AB) during the biggest health emergency we’ve seen in our life time (COVID) our health minister made it his life’s mission to piss off the medical community, under funding programs, firing component leaders in health and replacing them with yes men, and ripping up the doctor/nurse contracts.

What we’ve seen is docs and nurses leaving on droves as we doubled down on COVID hardship and squeezed the money out of frontline workers instead of going after the real problem which was lazy/corrupt middle management and supply chain problems.

To make things worse, our lab services was a crown-run (means it’s a govt funded business, which can think bigger because they don’t have to seek profits so hard, just efficient use of government funds) and they cancelled that contract to replace it with a private sector business.

Since this wait times for lab services have multiplied 10x, costs to consumers became a thing (it was free before) and all that government funding has disappeared.

So lose, lose, lose for the People.

So it’s gotten worse, because the people in charge at the government are gifting, and killing it on purpose.

Would I trade it for your system? Not in a heartbeat, never, we just need to solve our fucked up politics and get people who care in power.

I’ll just leave this here:

https://xkcd.com/1357/

They will just use it to generate scripts, change it enough with a human and claim it’s just a tool.

Don’t think for one second this will slow down greed.

… for now

YTA, but not for the reason you’d expect. Your marriage is a partnership, and you just played immature games to prove a point.

This is not how you deal with problems in a healthy manner.

It’s clear you’ve made a split of work and you both are strained.

The right move would have been to tell her, “hey babe, I overheard your call with your sister and it hurt me to think you feel I help with nothing. If you are strained can you explain what area you need more help with, perhaps we can adjust or trade something to make things work better.”

Perhaps one of the things you do doesn’t matter as another one you don’t, trade out and prioritize what makes you both able to handle the day better.

You may have proved to her how much you do, but you sure didn’t win anything other than resentment, the most fatal of emotions in a relationship.

I didn’t think we’d come to a point in history where this would happen, at least not so quickly.

Neither is the asshole.

She didn’t tell you that she was waiting for the tree to be handled to do the next thing, you can’t have really know what her plans were if she wasnt sharing.

Additionally you did the thing you were asked to do, one would expect that that it gets done and doesn’t need constant check ins and updates, you said you would do it in the morning and you did.

This is why communication is key, I recommend because your wife is getting stressed out trying to make a good impression on your parents that you probably don’t take it personally that she was upset.

You are not in the wrong, but it can’t hurt to explain/apologize for the misunderstanding/miscommunication on behalf of you both. It helps to start with an acknowledgement of her motive / emotions / feelings.

“Hey honey, thank you for working so hard with me to get the house in order. I’m sorry I didn’t realize you had plans that depended on me dealing with the tree. Next time if you could give me a heads up that you’re blocked by me I can help you better by being more proactive with my priorities and communication.”

Good luck dude.