she/her cybersec enthusiast

  • 1 Post
  • 9 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: June 2nd, 2023

help-circle

  • xorels@beehaw.orgtoLGBTQ+@beehaw.orgSo what made yall figure it out?
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    edit-2
    11 months ago

    Gods I am extremely dumb. I (cis fem) had crushes on girls for over a decade before I realised I had crushes on them.

    Age 13 - “No I just like looking at her and think she’s really pretty”.

    Age 16 - “No I just like her aesthetic. It’s gorgeous”.

    Age 20 - “Ok I might kiss a girl a little bit, but I wouldn’t do anything else with her. I like boys anyway.”

    Age 23 - “I just like looking at women naked. They’re so pretty and glamorous, who wouldn’t want to look at them? It doesn’t mean I’m gay or anything.”

    (Spoiler alert: It totally meant that.)

    Eventually figured out (with the help of my partner) I’m bi with a preference towards feminine traits, not necessarily women but anything seen as classically femme - long hair, long eyelashes, makeup, soft body, painted nails, a soft smile. Also kindness, gentleness, etc. There’s probably plenty more things I can’t think of. (Apparently my attraction is kinda misogynistic).

    When I was 19 I started dating a boy with some of those traits and I thought I was winning at life. Then that boy turned out to be a girl and she got the rest of those traits and now I am winning at life. And walking down the street with her and holding her hand and being able to show her off and think “this is my girlfriend” makes me extremely happy - for the both of us. More than it ever did before.







  • I watch a lot of anime and other Japanese media and I got sick of reading poorly-translated subtitles or missing things because of the language barrier/cultural differences. Plus, subtitles means I can’t glance down at my phone or I’ll miss things. (And dubs are the work of Satan). It made sense to me to just… learn Japanese.

    It’s slow going, it’s more of a hobby than a serious thing, but I can understand basic sentences in anime, and I recently bought my first Japanese-language manga to try and read through (very slowly, with a dictionary close at hand)


  • Howdies!!

    I’m xorels, a queer (she/her) Irish woman studying cybersecurity. I also game, crochet, and am learning Japanese.

    I’ve lately been trying to degoogle and move away from large corporations and towards FOSS software, so joining Beehaw was partly inspired by that and partly by… Reddit. Both the API change and the toxicity on that site. I got sick of reporting harassment and [minority]-phobia and getting ignored, or harassed myself for speaking up. I can’t leave it entirely for a few reasons but at least I can cut down my usage.

    I generally don’t post online, I prefer to lurk or comment, but I’ll try and change that if I can. I’m a big fan of the positivity and friendly, nice attitude on here.