I’m nice to them mainly because they don’t get paid enough for the shit they have to put up with. And, because, I just try to be polite with everyone.

Most martial arts instructors have some basic philosophy of conflict they try to impart, and the wisest one I’ve ever trained with was (paraphrased):

Say you get into a fight, and you win. You dominate him, no contest. So now, this guy’s humiliated, and he’s going to carry that around with him all day. And when he gets home, he may take his frustration and humiliation out on his dog, or on his kid, or his wife. And for days after, he’s going to carry that anger and it’s going to affect everyone he interacts with, like a karmic domino chain.

He wasn’t saying that we’re responsible for other people’s actions, but we are responsible for how our actions affect others; and that our egos aren’t worth someone else, someone more defenseless, getting abused just because we were capable of winning a fight when we could reasonably deescalate or walk away.

This resonated with me, because it’s more generally applicable than just physical conflict. While I can’t claim I’ve always been good about it, and especially not online, I do try to remember that there’s a bit of butterfly effect in every social interaction I have with people.